Family

Sometimes in life you hear the saying, you can't pick your family, my response, I know!
I just don't understand what has died beneath this roof, is it the fact that i dress different? The fact that i express my feelings through music

or is it the fact i live in a wannbe surburbing area (yes im not good with spelling, get over it!)
All my life i have noticed i have been different in many ways, and all though my family has always came through for me, and i am truly greatful, it sometimes feels that it isn't enough, your brother looking like the world has ended  because he bet on a football match and his team didn't win, is in a bad mood with you for no apprent reason

The father who doesn't know how to talk to you, and is too stressed because of work

The mother who you are kinda close to who just ignores you apart from when... let's just say... "happy"

Oh and how can we forget the brother who let's his friends drag your name through the mud and hates you over something you can not help, but still expects you to be their on his wedding day

Truth is, the only family member who has looked out for me, has to be my uncle, he is kind, giving, and he talks to me, sure we have had our ups and downs in the past, words have been said, even actions down, but we have always put that behind us.

If only i could do that with my family, but the truth is, i don't fit in, i really don't so they cut me off, and when i question them about it, they use shallow, little non exsistent, allibis.

This is what made me move to Germany in the first place, people would ask don't you miss your family, my reply, no.

It kinda was the same in Sweden. "i bet your parents are happy to have you back" hahaha, if only...

It's funny how you look at a picture or look at the actions of people, you think, wow, they must have a good life, truth is, they are suffering

I would know...

So what do i do?

I carry on, trying to build a bridge, i can only do what i can only do and if they are not interested, then rest in peace number 42.

thank you for reading