Oh hello

Hello ladys and gentlemen, I decided not to go to ireland, i wanted to stay in Edinburgh and get shit faced instead,  Life is funny, i've actually been researching the work i shall be doing at college, it seems pretty fun:) i can't wait to meet the new people, but im at college to get an education, not to be popular.. remember that people. i drew on my walls the other day with my friend Kimmi, we were very drunk and she done quite a good job, i dunno if im allowed to say but she is quite upset her girlfriend is treating her badly, so we got drunk and drew on my walls (pics will be down bellow) oh yeah and im getting inked soon in two weeks, Raised by wolves lyrics, an old friend designed it for me in the past, and i don't even talk to her anymore but i still love her, and will always love her, so i will get the design tattoo'd not a tribute to her or anything, because at the time she put a lot of thought into it, and well i loved it lol, oh yeah i won money on a scratch card yesterday, £300 which is cool :D my parents will flip out about the tattoo but you know, only live once, oh yeah, i spoke to Jamie the other day, i'm going to Germany in the summer to go hang out with her, i can't wait to see her, just in her car listening to bands, chilling out ! we will go on base too, which is cheep as fuck omg, i will need to change my euros into dollars, well pounds to euros to dollars, its like america over there, no german what so ever getting spoken lol

anyway im away to the doctors i gotta get tests on my blood, i've been feelings a bit shit lately
maybe its down to sir samuel booka? SAM BOOKA:D anyway must dash

toodle pip

"raised by wolves"

who you been using?

Yeah, I hate to break the news,
But I'ma break it in this musical,
To let the world know who,
Who you've been using,
Who you're abusing,
It's the suits you've being fooling.

But you know that you're useless,
So he's been acting so ruthless,
Deep inside you're just ruined,
Cause I keep on moving here,
To show you the truth bitch!

So when they point the finger,
You flip one back,
And say fuck that.
FUCK THAT!

FUCK THAT.

Guns, Gold, Girls ; I just wanna be your friend, is it ever going to be enough?

HAHA i love that title, it's from an album by one of my fav bands here it is :

Anyways, How is everyone, i'm kinda good, just bored But tomorrow is coming and I'm actually going to Ireland for a few days, which should be fun, SAM BOOKA! my fav drink, when i walk in the club, now this is what i see u got a tiny ... hahaaha XD fat girls with dildos EW, anyway yeah ireland with Friends, Liam and all that shiz, should be a fun time:]

I've been lookiing for flats too, oh yeah Stacey asked me to meet her in Glasgow with her boyfriend so that will prob happen next week... and hm oh yeah i got new Falling in reverse shiz,

And i got the copies of the AP Mag sent to my house...:D

Oh yeah and i found an amazing website and it lets you watch any tv show out there i've been watching, how not to live your life, two pints of lager and a packet of crisps, two and a half men and powerpuff girls.. don't judge me jo!

http://watchseries.eu/

Anyway i am getting my deuce package soon two, the album and a t shirt and a mask
yes a fucking mask, what should i do with the mask, should i just go out and wear it wtf XD

Anyway i'm away to do something... that's a story for another blog post... All i'm saying is, nah i can't say it XD You'll see soon enough i have got something on my body xD anyway see you guys later

i love you all especially you fucking koreans, anime sucks ass btw, just syaing, nah its ok, some hot girls and guys XD

BYE

Goodbye Graceful

Picking up the pieces of my life from the floor
Searching for an open window or an exit door
This boulder on my shoulder it gets heavier and colder
Til the day that die somehow I'll be slowly rolling 
over
To all my friends -- I apologize
To all the girls of the world whose tears I made them 
cry
I know it's been a while and you have traveled many 
miles
To get 

To get Away is not my style. 

I wrote this song to make you smile



Picking up the pieces of my life from the floor
Searching for an open window or an exit door
This boulder on my shoulder it gets heavier and colder
Til the day that die somehow I'll be slowly rolling 
over
To all my friends -- I apologize
To all the girls of the world whose tears I made them 
cry
I know it's been a while and you have traveled many 
miles
To get Away is not my style. I wrote this song to make you smile

Summer Time

I'm not Norman?

Wow People are actually selling photos of me thinking i am Andy Sixx, What the fuck?

http://www.profilekiss.com/picture/code-2/andy+sixx.html

And look Facebook Fakes....

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001075663799

http://www.facebook.com/normanian.alivia?sk=wall

Creepy...

Fuck Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Omg Omg, Can't wait! Falling In Reverse are bringing out Raised By Wolves, The Video HAHA! Can't Wait

Where have I been? You know out and about seeing friends all that shiz, i seriously haven't been online in a while, not fully, haha, life is good.

Last night I went to this nightclub with a few friends, I got very drunk on Sambooka, Sambooka is amazing, try it, Oh and the flat hunting is going well too, Saw this amazing house that has a spierel staircase, it's fucking awesome:D

You won't find me on Facebook as much by the way. I am just too busy, really, i am lol, Out with friends, partys, even studying:]

I wish i could tell you what i've been doing and make this big and hard amazing for you..

But to be honest and fair, i just wanna enjoy being outside, seeing friends, going to college, getting my house soon, making the people who care for me proud, thats the most important thing to make them proud.

So i won't be online as much anymore, maybe 2 times a week? haha, anyway.....

But i have no idea what to write, oh well... BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Wigle, Wigle.

Ignore my shitty hair, XD

Falling In Reverse, Ronnie Radke <3

Is that all you've got?! HAHAHA!

HAHAHA... HAHAHA...HAHAHA,

Okay Sorry, sorry for the laughs, but haha oh my god

Okay, so what has happend?

Well i signed on to formspring, doing my thing, i get an anonymous "question" ...

Saying and i qoute " Here you ya wee fuck, when you come tae glasgow the day, you're getting stabbed ya wee cunt, dinni hink eh movin here cos you huv nae chance eh livin, your gittin murderd pal"

Okay translation "Hey you, you little fuck, when you come to glasgow today you are getting stabbed, you little  cunt, don't think of moving here cause you have no chance of living, your getting murderd"

Okay so how am i getting murderd if i amgetting stabbed today as you quite nicely put it....

First of all stop being a coward and leave your name
or you know, man up and tell it too my face, without the need for knives..

just thought i should let you guys know, haha, if im no online for a while, rest in peace me...

nahhhhh

GLASGOW HERE I COME, GETTING MY OWN PLACE, FRIENDS, A COOKER AND MAYBE THE LOW FAT MILK, UMAD?

HERE IS MY HAPPY FACE, WOHHH, FUCK YOU.

Nervous, but I'm ready.

I'm going somewhere tomorrow to help sort things. been waiting for a long time...

I don't know if they will be able to help me, i think they will... Because i'm ready to help myself...

I still stand by my words, i am not bitter anymore and i am not angry, or whatever. Things happen for a reason.
Sometimes things that you don't want but you survive...

I'm nervous for tomorrow, but i believe it'l be fine.. :)

Also later i'm going to Glasgow to spend time with friends, Should be good, i'm excited about that :]

But anyways i just thought you should all know that life is good at the moment, nothing can get me down.. it's funny i'm so excited about the college, about my own place.. studying, i'm really proud of myself, and know the people around me are too

Oh yeah and as i said bellow i am getting inked soon by my good friend Gordon, I will be using the tattoo design a special person done for me, because i dunno, she done it out the goodness of her heart and i think it will look great !

Anyway i'll write in here soon enough

bye bye

Steviie

Tattooing time. soon :)

One month to go ;)

So Sorry that i gotta go, i guess you ought to know, that i'm standing on my own two feet, and yeah leaving this dusty old city.. it'l go down a treat.

Hey, Sorry I haven't uploaded for a while, i've been out with friends and such, just really having such a good time, i feel so good to be quite fair
not a care in the world, This blogpost is going to be different, i have came to terms with something, and that's Edinburgh, Edinburgh is a beautiful city
It has tourists from all over the world and when You are gone for a while you notice the nicer things about the city
now even though Edinburgh is such an amazing city, I have out grew it, It's not for me, I have made a big change in My life this week
and it is for the best.. I don't know how to drop this bombshell, but.. i can't do Edinburgh anymore, It bores me, i am so used to it.
So I have gave it a lot of thought and have decided to move.

Yes in Augest/ july... maybe even before i will be moving away from Edinburgh, not to get some part time dead end Job, But to better myself in life...
In life we get handed oppertuneitys and this might sound a bit corny... but, life is like a forrest, you can pick the hard way
or the easy way, the hard way will put rivers in your way, and even snakes that may kill you in the forrest, but you do what you can to get by.

I am really looking forward to this, i am hopefull and yet i am really going to give it ago...

The 2nd big news is that i won't just be moving, i will also be studying, Yes i will be living and studying in Glasgow (Scotland's Biggest City)
People say that you need a hobby in life and that's quite fine, My hobbie will be to Study My ass off, I mean it, From now and until my course starts
I will be up all night doing the reasearch, i will be using the money I get from The goverment to buy books about the subject. The subject
I will be studying is Music, hopefully a course on Writing LYrics (if it is possible) or editing music, Something to do with Music by far...

Music is my passion, it picks me up when i have fallen, and i am quite the poet, i love to write...

Anyway I will just be doing as much as i can to get this opertuneity, and i know by far, it will never be easy
But once I get my own flat, by myself, once i get that, and do the course, and meet others around me, who know's maybe it will be easy
There will be tough times ahead, but My future is worth it

Anyway i'm away now to go work out, Thanks for taking the time to read this blogpost, and Hello to the new people who is reading this

Stevie x :]

It's my world.. And i'm going to do what i need to do, and guess what.. I have My freedom, I'm backing away from this city, and i'm setting up life in my own house, I'm only getting started, old memories will stay, but i can promise you, that the love i have for the people in the past, it will always last, god bless you all, 

Remember this

"A creative man is inspired by the thought of defeating his adversary, in other words beating his enemy."


I'm away into town though now, to meet friends, will i be back? probably not, i will prob come back at 6 am and get ready for the job interview tomorrow, can't wait to see Liam and shit, not seen this dude in ages, he's such a good friend, 


I think i;ll get him a t shirt or something, i missed out on his birthday, toodles chaps.

:]

I wont let you win.

This man proved the doubters wrong, this man got up and showed the world what he could do, this man proved that people can change, this man got betrayed by his friends and was a drug addict. This man turned his life around, this man proved to others and Me that no matter how bad life can get, no matter how much heart ache and bad choices you make you can win in the end, this man gives me the courage to move on from the destructive life i have led, this man showed me through the power of music, that people can be what they want, this man proved to me just because life gets you down, it doesn't matter because you can always pick yourself back up, this man is my hero.

"The more you kick me when i'm down the more it truly helps"

It's So Wrong.

wait,
like the drug,
like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh,
now it hurts in the worst way,
now that you're gone,
its so wrong,
its so wrong....

I was blind now i can see

All i got to say is wow, like really wow... I was downstairs and watched this world war 2 movie, about Scottish Soilders in Thailand, and they were prisoners to the Japanese, They way they stuck together, and the little things they had meant a lot, they showed unity, respect and determination not to break, it was a truly beautiful movie, and by the end, When the Americans came to Free them, i had tears in my eyes, Because they got they're freedom in the end

There was a part of the movie which a Scotsman wanted to kill the boss, by slitting his throat, because by now the Japs Ran away from the Americans... He was about to slit his throat, but then Another Scottish guy came over and told him it wasn't right, an eye for an eye, and it was so true, why should you punish someone who has punished you enough to breaking point, you be the bigger person and walk away from it

It just made me think about a few things, and it makes me actually want to be a better person, it inspired me what can i say, War is wrong i do agree with that, but just the strengh and togetherness, it wasn't all Scottish POW they had Austrailian, English, Americans... but it was mainly Scottish and it was a true Movie, well it happend on True evants,

And not all the japanese in that camp were bad, the Translater/gaurd he spoke very good English and respected the Scots, English, Americans, culture wise, which was nice, at the end i screamed to my dad, WHY IS HE TRYING TO KILL THE TRANSLATER HE WAS A GOOD MAN! lol

I got mixed up it was really the big boss they tried to kill anyway i'll leave a trailer down bellow for you guys, i'm away to bed now, g'night

Steviie

Not fine enough for the right words in a cliche manner.

Summer Time.

"I will follow the electric lines

With my electric heart I then will find

A way through all these damn street signs

But I'll be there, I'll wait by your side

Ooo, by your side"

Hobbies

So i am trying to pick up a new hobbie right now, but I have no idea what i should choose. I was thinking about going to the gym, but, I don't know if i would stick to it really, Maybe, i will give it a try. But i want something to expand my knowledge, you know. I was thinking of physiology, but there's a lot to learn, hmm trying to think,

Right now i'm watching this movie with mel gibson 0.o the crazy ass jew hater haha!

i'm pretty hungry too so i will go eat soon,

gosh it's going to annoy me, thinking what hobbie that is,

i feel relaxed and calm though, it's nice

Goodbye old friend.

I want to take this moment right here right now, to say goodbye to a dear old friend, someone who truly gave me something i never had before, All my life i wanted a friend to love me for who i am, for what i stood for, and i had that, i want to say thank you to her, i want to let her know how much of an inspiration she was and still is to me, i want to thank her for her kindness through the months i knew her, i want to thank her for everything and wish her the luck of the world, i know she might be reading this right now, and maybe she isn't but, who knows? i will forever remember those last words you sent to me and use them to make you proud, i only hope i won't lose you forever, so thank you to you mademoiselle, thank you for putting up with my antics and giving me the joy of life, to know what it was like to have a bestfriend, i don't care what anyone may else say but i won't ever have a bestfriend like that ever again, i doubt it highly and would be reluctent if i did, you will always be in my heart, because you are still apart of me and will be forever, i am sorry that i let you down in the end, and i'm sorry you can't believe what i have told you, but one day you might see, one day, anyway, im going to wrap things up right here, i am truly happy for you, and respect your choice, i wish you all the luck in the world and i pray you have the strengh to carry on what you want from life, i will always be with you in spirit, thank you, thank you for giving me the privilige to know such a wonderful, respectable women like yourself, your an angel without the wings, you really are. goodbye.
love Steven

Song for a friend

I wrote these lyrics for my friend. I miss her and hope she hasn't forgotten me.

"

Distance has grown and through time you have shown. What i have done to you

Looking through the pages of that giant book we wrote, i tore the pages i didn't like out

And started to freak myself out. I miss you night and day, and at times i can only pray

you don't forget me, because i can't forget you, i can't forget you.

time will come to tell, and will it be okay, Im living in this private hell, cant you tell?  i won't simply sell this friendship down the river banks

You were always there and simply didn't care what others may have thought, even when they nailed me to their cross. you looked past the badness of my history and you faught for our freedom, to be one, to have this line in the sand, to make our mark upon history.

i will keep my head held high and admit that i was wrong, i was wrong by those texts, and i never took the second to understand, the master plan that was created, the day that i met you,

i don't ask for a lot these days, just to sit down and say, how sorry i may be to you

but losing you inside my heart, when i've only got one sense of a spark i don't know what i'll do

probably be lost without you? i hurt myself so bad, and i lied to myself and family watched our time drift out to sea.....

i left those clouds of doubt in your eyes, the first four days i finally said goodbye

i'll beg for your forgivness and wear this sign around me neck, i won't protect myself from the lesson that has came around to tell

I'll cry to keep the comfort, may i never lie again, i could never risk the thought and pain, of never calling you again, i know i had done wrong, i never took it serious, but i sincerly miss, those golden smiles we made, can we reminis?

but tell me now, before it's to late, i can't concentrait, you're my bestfriend, my big sis, no one will ever take your place

if its the end, if it falls now, and i died for my own sake. then at least you have this song, to remind you of my mistakes

little "broder" "

Cutting

This blog post is going to be about cutting, self harm,

I have spoken to a person today, i was on webcam with him, And we were just chatting having a laugh, and out of no where he shows me a cut, i said what happend? Did you just cut yourself, he said yes, i told him to stand up go to his window and told him to throw the razor away, cutting is never acceptable, i believe people who do it are weak minded.

I used to cut, but this was when i was 17, I haven't done it since and don't ever plan to again, because it does nothing, it doesn't give you a buzz, it's not a cry for help, but for attention, attention to get help, and thats okay, but people need to find new ways of getting help

if you do cut, and no someone that cuts, just be there for them and tell them the hard truth

i simply said to him, i can't be your friend if you cut, i want you to throw that away and stop, he was like want to see my scars? i said NO, why would i?

this is why i can't have nice things lol, but seriously, cutting, its not worth it, like i said, you need to be greatful for what you have, and i am, i really am.

thank you for reading

if you cut here's a song for you

Anyway going to bed now, got a big day tomorow, goodnight land of blog, love you all <3

Let's get it crackin'

Let's get it crackin ! haha, I dunno what to write here, today i got up really early, chatted with an old friend, we had fun, we even rapped together, (shes black.. so she won lol)

Then i got ready for the job center, and spoke to Helja, I showed her the movie Superbad, which is a cool movie, check it out if you haven't seen it, McLovin is bad ass, just saying !

I spoke to Martina for a bit, It was nice, but i did lose my way a bit, which i feel annoied at, not at her or anything, at myself, but i mean the only thing i can do is improvement, and i feel i am, i feel really balanced right now, it feels good,

I also got important News today, i don't really wanna say it out on here, but the people who know me will know i've been waiting since september for this, and i got it, next week, all im saying haha
so im looking forward to that.

I also watched TV with Daddy, it was nice, nice and calm, also thinking of working out later, i need to get on xbox soon, Ronnie said he'd be on today so i might try and speak with him, which is cool

My final thought is, You gotta be appreiciative with what and who you have in life, you need to, 100 percent, true happiness just doesn't come for you, you need to make the effort for yourself.

I know what it's like to be down and out, i stared the burning past in the face, and walked away, Im a surviver, what was it that one special person said

"Stevie is like a cockroach, he can survive anything" I remember those words because thats how much i care. anyway....

oh yeah, i'll post a fun and exciting song down bellow,

Best ever live gig i've seen

Makes the hair stand on tip.

Dying is Your latest Fashion.

Rehab with Jacky And Ronnie

**Note the following blogpost is not meant to offend, annoy, piss off or upset anyone, 

I will only be naming the people who i feel will allow me to name, i won't be naming

people who obsiously do not want to be named, Thanks for reading**

So it's been 2 weeks, Two weeks since i was on the Laptop, The reason i done so was because i promised someone special that i could stay off the PC for two weeks, Although i did break this promise the first 4 days, I done it. I stayed away for two weeks, Why did i do this? because i had to, I had to prove to her, My other friends, my family that I could. Because I've been having some issues lately, I say some but A lot of issues. I've been way too dependent on the people I care about to pick Me up when i had Fallen, and is that Right? well obviously not if i'm here idiot :]

The first two days were very hard, I was missing the people who were normally there for me, So I lied, I lied to one of my Best friends, Joanna, so I could speak to her about MY problems, about what I wanted, and that just wasn't right, Looking back on it now it was pretty silly of me, Why couldn't i just keep my Cool? 

So She obviously wasn't happy about how I lied and broke the promise right? who would be? She felt i wasn't taking her Serious, and she was right i wasn't. I only cared about what I wanted and how I would get better. And that's just plain Selfish,

So i went back to the drawing board the next again day,i thought to myself, I gotta do stuff to take my mind of things and to Get myself better, better as a person, after all it's why I'm here right? I need to get better, I need to be a better & honestly, a different person, Because to be honest. it wasn't a realtionship or a friendship i had, It was a circus act.

So I'd take Jackkkkkkky out for walks, My Brave little Dog :3 he's a cutie pie.But i mean Jacky was good and All but there was a problem, I was worrying, and then upset, then worrying bla bla bla, So i decided to Apply for some Jobs, I got a Job interview for a Music Shop, I passed the first interview, Having My second Interview This tuesday (Fingers Crossed)

The follwing thursday, I broke the promise again, i went out drinking with Richard and got Drunk came back and thought i was superman and could fix everything:/ I thought i was honestly a bit better, but i wasn't. I let her down again (Joanna, Martina) and i felt terrible, ) But after that Thursday Apart from going on now and then to help my Mum with this work course, and checking if a mate wrote back to me, I can honestly, say with confidence and honesity, i wasn't online until now, and it feels good.

There was a really bad moment I had, last week where I was scared and worried that I ruined Everything, And the weird thing is, I got a message Back from Ronnie Radke, Now for people who don't know me, Ronnie Radke is a Hero to me, I love the guy, i waited 2 and a half years for him to get outa Jail. so I was a bit Star Struck, He messaged me Back on xboxlive, we were talking for a while after words, he's a really funny, cool, interesting, nice guy. People say you shouldn't meet you hero's but when I spoke to him he was just a straightup honest nice guy we just spoke for about an hour, just sending message's back and fourth. (thanks Ronnie for the advice., By the way I know you're reading man, hope you're good) He did give me some good advice about the situation and i will forever be greatful for it, Thank you again Ronnie

I dunno what to write, I don't want this sounding like a fairy tale story or something, Because i noticed it just sounds like chapter by chapter, i don't know how else to describe it :/

I dunno, all i can say is that i have learned a lot about myself, who I am, when You have been alone thinking for so long that i have, you kinda of step back and watch your life on a dvd, and can rewind and fast forward on how you have acted, Jesus, I thought this blogpost would be a lot easy to write, I never knew it wiuld be so hard, but I am just lost for words to be honest, I Dunno I've been thinking what to write since Saturday, I have honestly had sleepness night, just thinking about the whole fucked up situation, not worrying or anything, Just sitting thinking how i have done wrong, how i've treated past people in the past, Okay let's start, there was a girl i was seeing a while ago, I basically led her on, Her friends leaves a comment about how im a cunt bla bla but the thing she does say that i actually agree with is " She has a better guy now, way better then you, because he treats her better" I can't disagree with that, I was a cunt, i'm ashamed looking back, not only am i ashamed of that situation, i am ashamed with others, the way i would treat my Ex Girlfriend, I used to believe it was her fault that we broke up, But it wasn't it was MY fault, how i acted during, before and after the breakup was disgusting,

Friends - You are together with someone or a friend of someone because you have an interest in them, you take care of them, you like to know what they want from life, there hopes and dreams, there passion, A true friend will never pick you up and tell you what to do, a true friend will only pick you up when you fall and tell you what you need to do when the worst has came, you have to be inspired to be a good friend, and give every piece of what you believe in to help them, but never ask for help, god i've had that running through my head for weeks....

 I dunno I honestly feel like a changed person, I know you guys wouldn't know cause' you can't talk to me but honestly if you knew me and spoke to me you would see it, It's weird because it's what Joanna, Martina, My Family and yes even Ronnie Said, their advice, and basically my own sense's just came bursting into life. I am more respectful now, I understand that people need their space, I understand that just because i get a black stain on a letter it's not the British goverment out to get me, Jesus, too i've been a  paranoid cunt LOL

I'm done with the nasty comments, the blogposts, the songs, whatever, I am done, I have built my bridge and got over my issues with people, I'm a much better person and it feels good, i used to blame others for the life i made for myself, i made my bed, but now i will sleep in it, and then i will get out of it naked, and get my king size bed, with asian hookers, just kidden about the hookers XD

So i am going to stop with the Hate, the bitterness, Everything, I simply have no more hate or bitterness to give anymore, I don't want to hate ex's, ex friends, anyone for that matter, I really don't So to the people i have wrote about on here, I won't do it again and i am sorry, It's no way to act because of any reason and i am sorry and will be removing the blogposts. i'm 20, 21 in 6 months, i need to start acting like it man, I feel good, I feel really good, I don't feel the need to hate, to be bitter, to worry, to think way too ahead of myself

If i could honestly apologise to the people i have hurt, ex's, ex friends, i would, But I don't deserve there acceptence. I wish i could just be civil with half of these people, And just put the past behind us,

I have a much better relationship with my Family, I love My parents and brothers to death, I really do, they do a lot for me, and i've took that for granted:/ It was my mothers birthday on the 27th, when i got my hair done actually, she was wanting this cd with all the songs of the 60's (joanna would love it) but i could not find it anywhere, so i had money in my bank so i put 70£ in a itune gift card and i got her a robe for waking up, its black and fluffy (lolhay martina) but it was nice, just being with family the whole day i even said hi to Andrew he looked disgusted, i was like HI ANDREW:D! he was like dot dot dot... but i had this duck with lots of fat ew fat !

Also he announced he is wearing a kilt.. so we gotta wear a kilt, i dunno which tartan, i'll probably make my own tartan, well disign it.. (you can do that! ) i cant wait to have the pics up XD im going commando by the way, im a true scotsman :D

Whatever may happen may happen, Everything happens for a reason. and if terrible things happen then i guess it will happen, a very special person told me, that, and that you'll need to deal with them when it does happen, which is 100% true. 

I just feel the smile upon My face and it feels good, I am simply balanced, That's all i can Say Balanced. and it feels good, I mean i probably have one or two issues, but I mean Rome wasn't built in a day, Ronnie, Joanna, Martina, My Family, other friends, will understand that it takes time, I know they won't put pressure on me because I won't put pressure on myself anymore, I'm out to start over again, with everyone and life in Generel, I was a job interview up soon (which i'm going to get that fucking job) I have amazing new hair (pics soon XD) I dunno I guess i feel i have done it really, gotton better in a sense, 

And honestly, I am ober the bitterness with people, i Have no bad feelings about anyone, not even My uncle, who i used to hate, or my brother, it feels good not to hate because it takes so much energy out of you, I have no bitterness, hopeing they will die, no lol. It just feels good, to have finally grown up to be honest, and to make the people around me proud, that's all i really want to do, make them proud. not feeling sad, worried or whatever I have honestly changed for the better and it feels great, I take a lot of time to think about an action before i make it, If its a big choice i have to make I just focus on what the right thing to do or say is, I'm a lot calmer and it feels nice. Sadly The help i wanted costs £1.500 But i am still looking into that.

I'm pretty sure they didn't miss me and who could blame them, i really have been a terrible person Recent weeks, so i want to say Thank You to Joanna, for telling me to do this, she is a really good honest trusting person so thank you Joanna if you are reading this (i Wrote something about you, i'll send it if you want) 

I took a few picture's the other weeks, I baught the album Dying is your latest fashion, lol I'm using my phone which has bluetooth;) i'm going to get it unblocked so i can use it as pay as you go soon:D

Oh yeah and i got my haircut too, bye!

And honestly, Thank you for reading.