i wish.

I wish

I wish for happiness over money and genuine pleasure from life.

I wish to face my fears and fix my oh so many flaws.

Thorough life I have always focused on the bad things, I have always worried what can go wrong next when I should seem genuine happy with what I have got.

I never take the time to appreciate a sunset at the park or my first genuine smile with the ones I love.

Am I a selfish person, of course. Everyone is selfish at times, isn't that apart of being human?

I never take into consideration the words I write or talk might hurt or might lead on family, friends or even Kim,

I always focus on my past. I try to focus on the future, but. It's so hard when all the emotions of worrying if everything and everyone around is happy.

I have dreams of living a life with Kim and becoming a dog trainer. I never really knew what I wanted to do before I got interested in dogs. I have always respected and loved dogs, but never thought of it as a career.

Am I insane for wanting to start at a low paid career? Or am I just seeking a job I will actually be happy in and can actually work at it and give something to these dogs?

I just want the big house and life with Kim.

I know my personal problems and I am trying to work on them and I have certainly made progress.

But times I get down because of the pain I have caused people, it's not really guilt but I just imagine if I was them. At the time, gosh, it makes me feel horrible.

I am genuinely sorry, but I don't regret anything I have said or done, because it helped them and it has helped me learn from experiences.

It's amazing how the simple things work for you when you get older, a career, home, partner, family, friends... I don't want to win the lottery and truth is I would probably take some money for a nice house and give the rest away to family and charity's (cancer, dogs) because money brings worry, evilness, fear, anger anything apart from happiness.

I need to say this, but Buddhists, I really have respect for them. They are so at peace with life and themselves. They know how to relax.

Back to the drawing board.

En route À Irvine.

So I am en route to Irvine to let the electrictions in the house to do work and my god the house need work... 

Big news is me and Kimmi managed to haggle a bargain from £250 to £100.... 

Amazing. You'll all just need to wait and see the house.. It's going to be good

I'm going to be an uncle again.

Not too sure if i have mentioned this but my eldest brother will be a father in July.

I am going to have another baby.... NIECE another niece. Mila is having a cousin.

Congrats Richard.

valentines day

So i got up bought Kimmi three red roses's because it is the 3rd valentines day we have spent together. and a can of yellow monster because of tridition. i made steak (rare LOL) and patoes and vege:D had a lovely time, valentines day was a blast. hope you had a great valentines day:D love you all <3 ps im drunk on red wine. :D yayyyyy

Packing

Last night I was so scared about packing. So stressful moving. Roll on te 18th!

I'm so scared

I am so frightend. Please. I've never been this scared before. What do I do. Please...

Keys, saving and move in date.

So we get the keys to the house on the 18th so we can start moving our stuff to the house. And we are currently saving for furniture. We are getting every all second hand:) well between you and I. I'm going to the auction where you can get really nice stuff for low amounts of money:)

Are move in date is the 3rd 

Scary but exciting stuff. I start my dog training soon. Woo the start of 5 years.8"in all honesty though I am looking forward to it. Like I've said it's my passion....

Am I te only one who thinks this guys a faggot? Anyone?

Oh and homework for you guys

Please leave a comment if I should save up for a ps4 or Xbox one. As why?

Thanks

Very hard day

So today I done a really hard thing. We both did. But it was the right thing I do. I promise to stand by your choices and support you 100%. I don't know why bad things happen to good people. Maybe because people take advantage of genuine people. 

I love you Kim, 

Love Steven.

Ban this fucking collar