cold and numb is really the only emotions that I am feeling right now. A bit distant with others and just well... cold and numb. it feels like inside my body is screaming from the inside, way past my nerves and into my blood.
I just keep thinking things could be worse, people are going through worse right now. But then my mind thinks well isn't that just a cop out. But it's true. My life is so weird at times. I feel like I am truman from the truman show
I feel it for others instead. it must feel like she's in a box room. A big boxed room where the people she loves are at the end. She runs to save them and as she is running the floors disappear and she can't jump across to save them. Sure she has support on the current flooring. But is that enough. does she pray that the floor will reappear.
Why do I feel so numb. Am I distancing myself from the ones who need me. I'm not running away. But at the same time I'm not really doing anything because I don't want to unbalance the situation. I don't want to create any worrys or problems because they care for me. Even if they are not problems for me. they might probably take them on...
I am strong but I'm numb. Drink isn't the solution, it never is. But the weird thing is. a quote from the truman show is. "You never had a camera inside my head"
I wish there was one. so I could feel something. It's not that I don't care. I do care. But I'm just concerned I am numb. I'm not burying my head in the sand.
Maybe I'm just preparing myself for the worst. That's the problem with me isn't it, Always seeing the glass half empty then half full. I dunno man..
Anyway I hope you all have a good Christmas and a happy New year.
I just keep thinking things could be worse, people are going through worse right now. But then my mind thinks well isn't that just a cop out. But it's true. My life is so weird at times. I feel like I am truman from the truman show
I feel it for others instead. it must feel like she's in a box room. A big boxed room where the people she loves are at the end. She runs to save them and as she is running the floors disappear and she can't jump across to save them. Sure she has support on the current flooring. But is that enough. does she pray that the floor will reappear.
Why do I feel so numb. Am I distancing myself from the ones who need me. I'm not running away. But at the same time I'm not really doing anything because I don't want to unbalance the situation. I don't want to create any worrys or problems because they care for me. Even if they are not problems for me. they might probably take them on...
I am strong but I'm numb. Drink isn't the solution, it never is. But the weird thing is. a quote from the truman show is. "You never had a camera inside my head"
I wish there was one. so I could feel something. It's not that I don't care. I do care. But I'm just concerned I am numb. I'm not burying my head in the sand.
Maybe I'm just preparing myself for the worst. That's the problem with me isn't it, Always seeing the glass half empty then half full. I dunno man..
Anyway I hope you all have a good Christmas and a happy New year.
