My heart was broken...

My heart was broken, my heart was broken

Sorrow Sorrow Sorrow Sorrow

My heart was broken, my heart was broken

You saw it, You claimed it

You touched it, You saved it

My tears are drying, my tears are drying

Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you

My tears are drying, my tears are drying

Your beauty and kindness

Made tears clear my blindness

While I'm worth my room on this earth

I will be with you

While the Chief, puts sunshine on Leith

I'll thank Him for His work

And your birth and my birth.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

My heart was broken, my heart was broken

Sorrow Sorrow Sorrow Sorrow

My heart was broken, my heart was broken

You saw it, You claimed it

You touched it, You saved it

While I'm worth my room on this earth

I will be with you

While the Chief, puts sunshine on Leith

I'll thank Him for His work

And your birth and my birth.

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Blah.

blah. Fuck it .

So much love..

Hearts need a beat, like awake needs asleep

Like a pen needs a page, to learn right you need a mistake

Oh, yeah

Hearts need a mind, like a clock needs the time

Like white needs black, if you leave I hope you need to come back

Oh, I swear, I know, I believe it

Oh, I can't stop hearing all the singing

Oh, my soul has never had this feeling

and it feels like gold

You got so much love in you

You got so much love in you

I'm amazed that I'm talkin' to you

You look like the songs that I've heard my whole life coming true

Strike all the bells, hit 'em hard make 'em all yell

Celebrate, infatuate, lock us up yeah incarcerate oh!

Oh, I swear, I know, I believe it

Oh, I can't stop hearing all the singing

Oh, my soul has never had this feeling

and it feels like so, so

So much love in you

You got so much love in you

I'm amazed that I'm talkin' to you

You look like the songs that I've heard my whole life coming true

You got so much love in you

You got so much love in you

I'm amazed that I'm talkin' to you

You look like the songs oh, oh, oh, oh

Yeah, oh, c'mon, yeah...

ahh.....ahh...ahh.....ahh....ahh.... Ahh...

Ahh.. Ahh.... Ahh... ahh...

You got so much love in you

You got so much love in you

I'm amazed that I'm talkin' to you

You look like the songs that I've heard my whole life coming true 

[x3]

You got so much love in you

You got so much love in you

I'm amazed that I'm talkin' to you

You look like the songs oh, oh, oh, oh

Busy day ahead!

IMy shorts came all the way from china today! And I've got my running shoes and top so now I can go running across the  beach of Ayr:)

I'm going to the doctors today also to get ahold of my medical records and I have a dentist appointment tomorrow

My teeth have got a lot better since stopping smoking and switching to the e cigarette. I love my e cigarette and I love my coffee maker. I'm so lucky. If I could is marry my coffee maker

Nah joking, calm doon it's a coffee maker

So right now I'm dressed for the outside world and by the way. I shaved my mustash off last night

I done it for movember, but I hated the feeling of it and it was weird to kiss Kimmi with it lol

Busy day indeed. So I'm off to the doctors now! 

Bye!

Police helicopter crashes on a pub

Pub in Glasgow is in shock .. I was going to go to Glasgow today... Thank god I chose not too

Aye

Aye

Coffee!

Fuck it going for some coffee and going for a run! I bought running shoes the thee week!

House is cleaned looks much better just need to vaccum! But obviously can't cause of neighbours! I love this flat so big and nice looking! I'm really lucky here 

Can't sleep

I'm finding it really hard to sleep. I am tired, very tired infact. But I just can't sleep. 

I have so many questions in my head. 

Should I clean the house to get sleepy? Yeah il do it! 

Goal.

What is a goal. Like when a footballer scores a great goal? Nah a goal as in somthing to plan for. Something you want from life.

A goal can be anything. You can choose to better yourself or even make yourself worse. I have goals, a few actually.

Does that mean that I am not very happy with my life? Maybe, maybe not. Or maybe just maybe I want a goal to keep myself busy

I like asking questions. When I was young I didn't ask many questions. I just screamed and whatever I wanted I got.

But school I was very shy. Weird isn't it how even when I was in two different places I'd adapt a new personality

Why would I do that especially at a young age. Was it to shield people away or wear a mask to protect myself?

It's funny how a simple question can turn into so many. How your goal is to think about somthing, but I suddenly do this to the reader

You see my goal today was to to make you think. Therefore I reached my goal.

Mind fucked, you bet

Fuckers.

Father

So I found out my dad has started going to the gym. The radation therapy ate away his muscles... I'm so proud of him... Does he ever stop being so inspiring.?! I'm proud of you daddy!  <3 and seeing you happy lights my eyes up with anything is possible! You're my hero.

Christmas is paid for!

So last Christmas I could not afford presents. So I made a promise to myself. I promised me and Kimmi would get a jar as put our spare £1 & £2 coins in and the odd £10 and £5 note. One year on we managed to save £189.50!!!

Plus we have more money coming in!

I have bought Kimmi so many little presents!

And my mum and brothers! Even the neighbours down below and their kids presents!

I felt so worthless last year and I've made up for it!!

Merry Christmas everyone

Lol can opener...

Independence

"And ... Wins GOLD for ENGLAND!, and Andy Murray wins gold for the United Kingdom"

"Chris hoy the SCOTSMAN has lost gold for SCOTLAND"

"Southern Britons have the lowest jobs in the uk. Scottish people have failed to increase there numbers in the uk"

"It's not Scotland's oil, it's britains"

Here is my favourite...

"The United Kingdom, England, Scotland and Wales are BETTER TOGETHER ! We are stronger TOGETHER!" - well Russia are pretty big and strong where are they on quality of life? Lets start with the best top ten small countries of quality of life shall we? 

Switzerland, population- 8 million, has the highest population of wealth per adult.aswell as sitting at top with the lowest crime rate in the world

Sweden- population- 9.5 million, 2nd most competive country in the world, 12th place in the world for average wage & one of the most equal country's in the world for terms of income

Denmark, population- 5.5 million, worlds highest of wage income, one of the worlds highest per capita in the world and ranked the highest and least corrupt country's in the world

Luxembourg- population- 500 thousand,3rd highest wage world wide

Norway- population- 5 million, there crime rate is one of the lowest in the world & the UN development projected deemed Norway as one of the worlds best country's ever.

What about those country's like Russia that have gone the bigger = better route? 

Let's see shall we?

Russia- population, 141 million, is ranked the third best millinery in the world, but is ranked 105 for quality of life, political is peppered with some shady people, cough Stalin cough that's not even mentioning the current government that has been acoused of wide spread corruption.

United States of America, population- 300 million, ranks in at the best in the world for military, sure Americans love to bang on about freedom and such but a lot of Americans out there have agreed that there government is out of touch with the people and are in the top 50 of highest crime rates in the world, just seven places above Iraq and two places below Columbia,

And the United kingdoms rank of quality of life in the world? 

29th....

Just ahead of South Korea and three places ahead of Mexico..

People who want to keep the uk talk about the past, strength power.. But bigger is not better. Corporation, fairness and equality is the only way for a nation to strive. And can only be archived when we scale back a bit. 

That doesn't apply for just Scotland Aswell. England would benefit the same way Aswell

I do not hate England or the uk. I'm actually more English then Scottish through family heritage. I just believe each nation had the right to govern themselfs.

I'm making the right choice for my future. 

Vote yes on scottish independence.

"I can't understand why we let someone else rule our land"...

"We fight when they ask us, we boast then we cower. we beg for a piece of.. Work so many hours..."

"Getting hands outs can be so frustrateing, get in line son there's five million waiting, no a can't understand why we let someone else rule our land"

Scotland- population- 5 million, quality of life... Equalness... Independence- September the 18th, 2014

.. Mark these words...

Artistic mood

I'm in a very artistic mood right now so let's start shall we the following is flowing from my mind, I have not stalled nor edited the following I just feel the need to let this all out.

A breezy storm comes through the doors of a dusty midnight sun, together as one we walk towards our destiny as whole

Show me so much more then a smile on your face. Let me walk into your soul and start digging away down an down I go

I can enter the mind so young and free. There is no need for a special key. Leaning towards satisfaction but longing for domination. Chasing all  my regrets with an axe, swinging and choping my snakey garden. I grab one and see its pain. Fuck regrets look forward instead. Feel pain and and make you feel my name

I'm running from nothing ad learning from somthing. Pick me as a flower and put me in your hair. Write me a song and tell me I belong after all it's all I ever wanted

The greatest thing I have ever learned is the past. The greatest thing I ever regret?

Was not killing my fears any sooner.

I am ashamed to be called BRITISH !!!!!

Okay I just want to say if you a pro unionist. Pro uk, pro British, pro English. This blogpost is not for you. If you or anyone is offended by this post. Take a moment to realise how full of rage I am at this moment in time. Thank you.

Okay so if you have read my previous post about movember and me not shaving to show support for prostate c*ncer and c*ncer then you would have noticed at the end of the post I got very angry.

I'm sorry I just can't hold this in. I have tried to keep calm but can't stop thinking how of a fucked up country I really stay in. And if you are not from the uk get ready for something to shock and disgust you

As some of you might know my father has been diagnosed with neck and throat c*ncer. He was diagnosed with this around a year ago. Since he has been diagnosed he has been unable to work. And has been relying on savings to get him and my mother by. My mother had been off work a lot to look after him so she was only getting half pay. Not enough to pay rent or bills.

Before my dad was diagnosed he was a plumber. He has been doing this job for around 30 odd years, since he was 15/16. Everyday from 7 am until nine pm he was out working to support me and my brothers and my mother. He is and still a workaholic. 

He has paid something called tax to Britain. Not to Scotland. But to Britain. England, Wales, Northern Ireland.

I told my father to apply for something called ESA. Employment and support allowance. Which gives you £300 every two weeks. So £600 a month. He thought it was a great idea because he was entitled to it...

The result? Not entitled to a penny. Nothing. Because he has savings and a home owner.... The house he owns has no floor boards. No heating. The walls are following apart and is unliveable. He does not live in there. I'm not going into the reasons why he bought it...

But the savings he has are almost gone. He had to help pay for my brothers wedding. Had to pay for hotels we were staying in and the flights to Greece...

Now he does little jobs. Even with this illness he still wants to work... But he will never work the same again.

How is this fair!? He should be entitled something... But nah. If you were from another country, eastern euope, Africa.. You would be allowed to get all sorts of benefits. I don't fucking care if I sound racist! Go stick your fucking racism up your arse.

When I was living in Germany I said to my ex girlfriend when she asked me. Steven are you not upset Germans are getting jobs ahead of you? I said no! It is there right they were born here and I wasn't I should be below them when getting a job! 

So what am I fucking racist to the uk now?! 

This isn't fair. This country needs to change.. Wait. What the fuck. Britain is not my country. I'm SCOTTISH. I do not give a fuck about London, the queen, places in England. Northern Ireland or Wales. To the soilders who fought for my freedom, thanks and all that. But a bigger thank you to my grandad who was English but faught for the scottish regiment. 

This is the reason I am and will be voting yes on scottish independence. Not because I hate the English. But because I hate the British government. Sure scottish has a government and make rules but they have to ask the British government if it is ok and the British government is in charge of benefits. 

The sooner Scotland leaves the uk the better. More tourists then England,(apart from London) better education and healthcare training system. Oh yeah and the reason why the rest of the uk wants to keep us, our billions worth of oil in Aberdeen and Shetland, Aberdeen is the capital of Europes oil after all .

Thanks British government. Thanks very much for inflicting an ill man to work a little to put food on the fucking table. Rott in fucking hell.

Movember.

From November the first to the first of December it is Movember. Where men do not shave there mustash to show support for prostate c*ncer. I wanted to show support for postate c*ncer and people fighting against c*nser. So here is how I have done from the first of November.

Now here I am now on the 14th,

I am proud of myself. And I know I am not spelling that word correctly I have replaced the a with * .... It is because I refuse to achnowledge that word and even saying it and thinking of the word has given me tears across my face...

I fucking despise that word and meaning and just wish for a fucking single minute that instead of giving the rich more money they could spend a fucking day donating money to find more cures and comfort people and their family's going through this. It's wrong. It's disgusting and I'm getting angry right now..

Sorry this post was meant to be for good cause.. 

It's not worth it to hate

Just finished watching an interview with ronnie radke and Craig mabbitt... 

If you do not know ronnie radke has been my idol since I was around 16. And back in the day I would give so much hate to Craig and escape the fate and defend ronnie. 

But the weird part is that as I grew up. And got life experiences I just thought what's the point. Look at the facts both of them have children. They are trying to do what they love- preform.

People make mistakes and do things for odd reasons. Why put yourself through so much stress and Anixtey to hate someone. If you feel that someone you don't agree with through principals and morals is not worth your time, simply do not talk to them. If they give you shit just ignore them. It does NOT make you weak or a coward. You are looking out for yourself and if you sit and worry because they have insulted you back or you are waiting for them they have a power over you. Giving them what they subconsciously wanted.

My dad told me as a wee boy. Do not ever let someone blackmail you. If they threaten you with blackmail. Then you tell the person who you have wronged the truth. It will show you have courage. It will show you have respect and are sorry. It will not hurt the other person. I try to be as truthful as I can be with family, Kimmi, friends. Even myself 

Anyway, if anyone who is reading this's ... I'm not going to say hate, but does not agree with someone morals, actions, principals simply don't talk to them. Trust me. It will save you a lot of energy.

Bye for now...

Fuckers.

Halloween house warming party

So last Friday we had a Halloween house warming party which was fun I was a mime and Kimmi was a which lol 

Come on hibs!!

Hibs are playing our Edinburgh rivals hearts!!! Hibees!<3

Hello Glasgow !!

Why so serious?!

Hahaha I hate this picture. My bus card is amazing lets me travel anyware in Scotland for free an half price on trains woo

Blog post a day keeps the boredom away ;)

So I want to start blogging more but the truth is I really don't want to seem boring by saying oh I done this or that.... So anyway I watched little Britain earlier which was fun. Made ravioli with a kind herb a tomato sauce.. Also surpressing rage from my brother.. He is being so careless and messy... Which is annoying so I plan to have a good talk with him.. Going to go through to edinburgh to collect stuff for Halloween

Also Kimmi and I will be having our firstly Christmas together this year in our new flat

Last year we went to my parents but this year we are staying at our house well because we have too

I want to do Christmas here and it kinda folds into kimmis plans because it's her brothers 18th on the 26th. 

I love that picture above its so funny :3

Anyway gotta go get ready for asda and do job hunting.. I'm looking for part time work right now and it will soon be Christmas. Thank god I've been saving all year. We have this Christmas savings tin and I only put one and two pound coins in. And ten and 20 pound notes it's quite heavy so I hope I'll have enough for lots of Christmas presents....

Anyway bye everyone

Halloween/party

So Halloween is soon and I wanted to share a song we sing in Scotland instead of saying trick or treat. Scottish kids sing this at doors instead of saying trick or treat, I used to when I was younger ;

Halloween is coming the geese are getting fat, please put a penny in the old mans hat. If you haven't got a penny a hateny will do if you haven't got a hateny, god bless you! 

But.. My dad taught me this song as a seven year old and it's a famous scottish Halloween song; am an aberdonian a come fi Aberdeen av came tae your hoose for Halloween. All a want is candy and if a dinni git some al tell ye what al saw. Al ring your little door bell then al run away!

Hahaha I loved it as a kid

I've also got my Halloween costume ready. Not telling you what I'm going to be, we are having a house warming/Halloween party so that should be good:)

Bye for now

Clean house

I love cleaning the house and making it all sparkly. Really proud of myself. Morning everyone !!!

So Kimmi took photos of me in the bath when Robyn was round... I asked Robyn if she wanted to scrub my back .... She rejected my invitation. I think I made Robyn more gay... 

New neighbours

So we have new neighbours. Sorry I haven't updated in a while I've had the cold! I fucking hate it. But back to the point we have new neighbours staying in our old flat. Heather and Jordan. They are such a nice couple and they are our friends. So we asked our landlord if they would be interested in them and he was and they saw the flat fell in love with it and now we are hanging out together so much it's cool! Anyway check list for tomorrow

Put bet on

Get coffee beans

Hoover

&

Play with Bailey

Bye!

Lol

Tattoos

Just tattood Jordan lol

Hard choice

Do I get a tattoo from Jordan ...

Tattoo

Jordan is about to give me a tattoo

... Not too sure Incase it's done poorly or I regret it... What to do???

If you could look into a broken soul you would find
Neither hate or love or the capacity inside
And I'm getting sick and tired from all these lies inside my head
Brushing people off with the same cloth when inside I've bled
Leaving people for all my sins and trying to find a new life to begin

If you looked inside this soul you would see lies and truths that would make you bleed
Using my paint brush to paint people inside... There's only two colours black & white
I'm running away from what I have to face and the truth is it was too late
So I try to live in the moment never the past but inside I'm screaming how long will this last
I'm battling demons every night and day and even if I fall at least I can say
I tried to change the sins I have done but my lyrics are burning right through a cross and inside I try to look at god but god doesn't love me Infact hates me
It shakes me

I'm way too angry for my boots and the root of my problems lays within a trapt in a cold soul that's ready for hell but tell me as I'm waiting in this cell can I get one last call to the devil aswell?

I might not be perfect and my judgement is on the loose I'm fearing the worst and expecting the lows so tell me can I take my last bow to the crowd

I just want the truth to find me because I heard a story that the truth always finds you and who even knew if I had to be saved and who knew I had to be trapt

I'm not trying to complain about my problems I'm only using this as a way to get my feelings out and I'm so sick and tired of living each day to waste gotta get up and seeze the day I don't think I'm a rapper in any way I'm just hoping that one day these posts will impact on me and help me judge myself in a better way for the sake of light I'm burning inside and music is my drug and passions creeping above with the devil by there side I just gotta open my eyes

I've lost a few friends and in the end it's fate. Why didn't know one let me know I could have escaped sick and tired of feelings scars and wanna scream this engine up and fight the demons inside by gosh I just might but every star is bright and I'm hoping on a wish to see the demons In the cell and il burn the jail down

... I'm a pyromaniac and labelled others aswell try living in the past day by day but can't escape reality... Time can move back words and forwards didn't you know?

Absinthe

Keep that shit away from me. 

Scotland

The end of the world

Why does the sun go on shining? 

Why does the sea rush to shore?

Don't they know it's the end of the world,

'Cause you don't love me any more?

Why do the birds go on singing?

Why do the stars glow above?

Don't they know it's the end of the world.

It ended when I lost your love.

I wake up in the morning and I wonder,

Why everything's the same as it was.

I can't understand. No, I can't understand,

How life goes on the way it does.

Why does my heart go on beating?

Why do these eyes of mine cry?

Don't they know it's the end of the world.

It ended when you said goodbye.

Why does my heart go on beating?

Why do these eyes of mine cry?

Don't they know it's the end of the world.

It ended when you said goodbye.

R.I.P Jack.

Kimmi's dog Jack died today. He was 14. She had him since he was four years old. So sad for her. But he is in doggy heaven now. He has his pace back and is kicking the shit out of rabbits. Best greyhound ever. R.I.P x

Vote

I've voted yes on independence 

Visiting my parents

Look at this...

My dad the hard working strong willed man... Told he would never work again.... Look what he built with his bare hands and a hammer and nails...

I'm so proud of you dad. Well done I love YOU

Welcome mum!

My mums came over and she got me and Kimmi a great house warming present look!

I love it! We have just been showing her around Ayr. She loves the flat and has made herself feel right at home :)

Mocha coffee and money