Who i am.

I have just realised i have not gave an about me on this blog, this won't be like how you speak when you join a site " Hey im jerremy and i like candle or im not a pedophile but..."

So let's start shall we? warning this will be as long as i can type for because i gotta let the monstars out.

"Hello there my name is Steven, Stevie Gordon Perry. First of all thats not my real name, nope. well it is but it shouldn't be, My mothers last name is Perry, but my father's last name is... *sigh* woodcock... Yes go on make fun of it, woodcock, a dildo made out of wood LOL my parents never married, so yeah....

I am the youngest of two older brothers. So i am the baby of the family.

Growing up i always knew i was different from others. not because of my learning difficuilties but because of the way i was as a person. People would go out and play football after school or build ganghuts, i'd just stay in and watch cartoons or the wrestling, Stone cold was my faourite, before it was the undertaker. anyway

I knew i was different also because when i did pluck up the currage to play with the other kids in my street they'd swear and talk about girls. now i was very shy as a kid, i still am in some points but thats for later.

Anyway growing up my parents were never around, i know you get people being like, oh daddy was never around it scard me, or mummy was fucking the local llama, but seriously. my mother had lets just say better things to do. and my father working, my dad is a fucking work aholic, something that i admire about him.

I was raised by my grandad, He was my hero and my god, it's strange saying that, but even to this day i try to please him and still get tears in my eyes like it was yesterday that he died. he taught me so much, being a better person, having respect, he was a gentleman, a true gentleman, he never swore, he would never get angry, just a sheer gentleman. so i try and emulate that, even to this day i still share some of his traits, my eye colour, my accent (it turns english sometimes) and my words. i sound like im in the 1960s sometimes.

So i'd get dropt off by the school bus outside my grandads. well mothers and then id have to walk two doors along, Anyway Going onto school. I'd be the calm, the funny one and the poet, yes i even wrote lyrics in school they loved it, oh and acting was a strong trait. the teachers loved me i loved them i was a geek so to speak

But i wanted a change i wanted to get into a real school not a school for special people. so i got transferd,

It was horrible, i'd get picked on laughed it and mocked for the way i learnt things. i made a few friends but thats about it, it last for a year so i moved onto high school.

high school was the same but ten times worse, i fell in love for the first time, had my heart broke and bestfriends walked away because it was "the cool thing to do"

After that i left high school at the age of 15, i got a job as a kitchen porter in one of edinburghs busiest restaurants/hotels. i qould even get bullied from my boss, locking me in freezers.

I quit, it was shit, i hated it, so moving on

I met a few people gained a few friends along the way

I even moved to germany for a girl. yeah germany. i let my bad qualitys get the better of me

and i never got over her until my next realtionship

I treated my last girlfriend like utter shit. and i hate myself for it, not because i miss her, because it was a terrible thing to have done, and my bestfriend at the time, i took advantage of there morals.

I am a person who finds it hard to trust, who is a coward at heart but will always stand up in the end.
I am the poet. the funny person but yet i have no confidence to save myself

i used to believe having people in your life is the way to make yourself happy, its not
you can only make yourself happy

anyway this about me kinda fucked up into a biography, so i will stop now my fingers hurt and my ass is numb, bye