I wanted to open up today and let myself clense in my own self doubt. Well I sound like a Hippie today don't I? But seriously i want to open up a lot more to my blogger, because i made a Youtube video, well it was meant to be a Youtube video, but You know when you assume the words will come natrually and casually. but then you realise you were just in a crazy fantasy..... yeah well that happend to me last night. i made some good points and just went blank. like emptying a bath or even a pot i said all i had to say.
And then i thought to myself, If i could use that way of thinking and then use my blogger as the video then i would feel a lot better? but then I thought, nah, why would i wanna do that, bottle up the feelings and rely on other people. then i thought, that's what i've been doing most of my life, not so much now. but in that way where it comes as a natrual way of thinking, comme ci, comme ca. EST QUE TU PENSE DE MOI!!!!!!!!
Ah French, My second Love after crash bandecoot. well of my childhood anyways, I became so obsessed with France, and the language. You know I spent a whole week in my room sleeping during the day and awake all night, listening to French music, watching French dvd's, speaking to French people online and writing and reading and teaching myself French, i never spoke in English to my family, i didn't watch any TV shows or anything, i was begining to get a bit of a French accent
ET Voilá... It just stopped. I met a Girl from Germany, Fell in love forgot all about France.... Ironic huh? my obsession lasted for4 years and all wiped away for a summer Romance. Why the lack of loyalty Steven?! STEVEN GORDON! ... such a guy -_-... I was thinking last night how I missed Germany and Sweden. the experiance of getting on a plane and seeing all these different shops, on my own, no family... Also thought about Greece... Worst time of my life, I don't care if it was my brothers wedding, I hated it. for obvious reasons...
Now that i have opened up a little I can announce that
I have lost all my writing, my lyrics, my passion, my keys from the computer...
I was upset, i was sad. But then i remembered those Lyrics came from My heart & they'll always be there so who cares. no problem i can re write look watch
"Creeping up the stairs to find a coldness collects you from your life, you sense everything you realied on and confied in to be a lie, no safe place, it's the end of the chase, it's time to pack up and walk away, fighting the cure of a broken time, when all you wanted to do was hide, i'll write for two days and never more, i'll since for two weeks and break down on the floor. fighting the obsession or is it a life lesson, i've lost myself and only counting down, to when i can find him. where we won't make a sound"
Et voila.
Came from the top of my head. don't think its amazing, good or even ok, I have no opinion on it. i just love to write, i don't want to be an artist or author, i don't want to be reconized or even have someone say i am good. i just look it, it's like a drain for my feelings:)
Acceptence. meh...
Happiness.
Well it's like the building blocks are in place, with everything in my life. there's only one thing missing...
I've tried everything... Just.. can...
Bye.
And then i thought to myself, If i could use that way of thinking and then use my blogger as the video then i would feel a lot better? but then I thought, nah, why would i wanna do that, bottle up the feelings and rely on other people. then i thought, that's what i've been doing most of my life, not so much now. but in that way where it comes as a natrual way of thinking, comme ci, comme ca. EST QUE TU PENSE DE MOI!!!!!!!!
Ah French, My second Love after crash bandecoot. well of my childhood anyways, I became so obsessed with France, and the language. You know I spent a whole week in my room sleeping during the day and awake all night, listening to French music, watching French dvd's, speaking to French people online and writing and reading and teaching myself French, i never spoke in English to my family, i didn't watch any TV shows or anything, i was begining to get a bit of a French accent
ET Voilá... It just stopped. I met a Girl from Germany, Fell in love forgot all about France.... Ironic huh? my obsession lasted for4 years and all wiped away for a summer Romance. Why the lack of loyalty Steven?! STEVEN GORDON! ... such a guy -_-... I was thinking last night how I missed Germany and Sweden. the experiance of getting on a plane and seeing all these different shops, on my own, no family... Also thought about Greece... Worst time of my life, I don't care if it was my brothers wedding, I hated it. for obvious reasons...
Now that i have opened up a little I can announce that
I have lost all my writing, my lyrics, my passion, my keys from the computer...
I was upset, i was sad. But then i remembered those Lyrics came from My heart & they'll always be there so who cares. no problem i can re write look watch
"Creeping up the stairs to find a coldness collects you from your life, you sense everything you realied on and confied in to be a lie, no safe place, it's the end of the chase, it's time to pack up and walk away, fighting the cure of a broken time, when all you wanted to do was hide, i'll write for two days and never more, i'll since for two weeks and break down on the floor. fighting the obsession or is it a life lesson, i've lost myself and only counting down, to when i can find him. where we won't make a sound"
Et voila.
Came from the top of my head. don't think its amazing, good or even ok, I have no opinion on it. i just love to write, i don't want to be an artist or author, i don't want to be reconized or even have someone say i am good. i just look it, it's like a drain for my feelings:)
Acceptence. meh...
Happiness.
Well it's like the building blocks are in place, with everything in my life. there's only one thing missing...
I've tried everything... Just.. can...
Bye.
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