Halt Dich An Mir Fest

Du hast mich lang nicht mehr so angesehen,
hast mir lang nichts mehr erzählt.
Unsere Fotos hast du abgenommen,
weil dir irgendetwas fehlt.
Du rufst mich an und sagst du weißt nicht mehr,
weißt nicht mehr, was dich berührt.
Die letzten Jahre haben dich aufgewühlt,
und dich nur noch mehr verwirrt.

Halt dich an mir fest, wenn dein Leben dich zerreißt.
Halt dich an mir fest, wenn du nicht mehr weiter weißt.
Ich kann dich verstehn.
Halt dich an mir fest, weil das alles ist was bleibt.

Ich lass das Licht an bis du schlafen kannst,
doch du wälzt' dich hin und her.
Schläfst die Nächte von mir abgewandt,
bist du einsam neben mir?

Halt dich an mir fest, wenn dein Leben dich zerreißt.
Halt dich an mir fest, wenn du nicht mehr weiter weißt.
Ich kann dich verstehn.
Halt dich an mir fest, weil das alles ist was bleibt.

Siehst du den Weg aus dieser Dunkelheit
Willst du raus, ich bin bereit.
Das kann nicht alles schon gewesen sein.
Ich glaub an uns und unsere Zeit.

Halt dich an mir fest, wenn dein Leben dich zerreißt.
Halt dich an mir fest, wenn du nicht mehr weiter weißt.
Halt dich an mir fest, wenn dein Leben dich zerreißt.
Halt dich an mir fest, wenn du nicht mehr weiter weißt.
Ich kann dich verstehn.
Halt dich an mir fest, weil das alles ist was bleibt.
Halt dich an mir fest, wenn dein Leben dich zerreißt.
Halt dich an mir fest, wenn du nicht mehr weiter weißt.
Ich lass dich nicht gehn.
Halt dich an mir fest, weil das alles ist was bleibt.
Halt dich an mir fest, weil das alles ist was bleibt.
Halt dich an mir fest, weil das alles ist was bleibt.

R.I.P Grandad.

It's been 15 teen years since my grandad died. Today is his anniversary. The same day my brothers lost there grandad too. It's also Andrews birthday today....

I can remember my grandads voice and smell believe it or not. He used to look after me everyday from school until my parents returned... I remember going into town with him and he would spoil me

He was so caring and loving and I was at my true happiness with him, I didn't know about death, suicide, drugs, porn, war, hate, gangs, terrorists. I had no worry a in the world, no drama just contentness 

Something changed the day he died, my last memory of him was him in the nursing home. He was ill very ill and even with him being ill he told me and Andrew to go to his desk near his bed and get a packet of sweets for us.... 

He's my hero, 

I love you grandad.

Rest in peace

Richard Joseph Perry

1923-2000

Jacks older brother.

So I got a message from my mum today. She text me to show me a picture of Jacks older brother

Jack is on the left and his brother is on the right. 

His brother has pointy ears (I think) and Jack has floppy ears. His brother has a bit of more grey on his mouth then Jack... Well he is older i think about 9/10...

To be honest this picture is interesting for me, interesting for the fact of body language. Let's start with my Jacky.

Ears relaxed squint eyes, mouth open, relaxed eyebrows (like humans) and big cheesey grin... It actually looks he is just smiling doesn't it?

His brother doesn't though... His brother doesn't like to be touched by the little girl in this picture, you can certainly tell by his eyebrows, his head is lowered in a way I would say from this picture (it's hard to tell) but the #1 signal that tells me this dog does not feel comfortable with an arm around him from the girl...

Lip curl. . . 

This is a classic sign, the number one sign you should look out for, the eyebrows are frowning, the head is lowered. It's worrying actually. Maybe the girl interrupted him sleeping, but he is not happy. 

Jack on the other hand, this was him after half an hour of fetch, sniffing, running, trick training and then just laying down relaxing... The pictures paint two different story's, but from two brothers, two german shepherd/border collie boys....

Thanks for the read

Fuckers.

Updated my profile.

I just updated my profile. It was time for a change, haha!

Anyway where have I been what have I been doing? Well I've been busy, I've spent time with my mum, I've been exploring Edinburgh and what the festival has to offer

Getting things in place for the flat..

Me and Kimmi also joined an amazing Gym. So we have been there and it's really fun, they have yoga, saunas, jacuzzi, pools, treadmills and all that

Which reminds me our induction is on Sunday, so we will be doing that. But I've been a bit worried....

You see I don't mind telling people this because I have nothing to be ashamed of, but.. When I was born, I had a few problems I was very premature and the problems led to brain damage and I was diagnosed with mild cerebral palsy, it effects speech (sometimes I pause and I'm slow at talking) learning (just takes me a little bit longer to learn then others) balance and catching things, sometimes when I walk my ankles spazzum, like they'll just move to the side a little bit and il fall... Well I had this checked out and because of the way I walk in putting pressure bad pressure on my knee caps and a couple of weeks ago I ript ligaments in my knee and well I need to attend physiotherapy. So the gym will help my legs get stronger. But what I'm worried about is the pressure i put on my knees with working out... I'm trying into to let it bother me but to be honest every 4 months I would say I am in constant pain in my knee caps mainly the left one because of the way I walk. So that's why I was on crutches a few months ago. Mystery solved! (Ps I am so grateful that I only have mild and not full, I'm sorry if I never let any of you know before I was just ashamed and embarrassed but I am proud of who I am, my life could have been a lot worse and thank god I am not in a wheel chair and I can speak and move, this is why I hate the word re***d)

It didn't help when my old landlord failed to provide a hand rail in my house and I fell down the bottom of the stairs because of it... They knew about my problem so it was they're fault... But  I'm not going to go into detail with that (legal stuff...)

I really miss Jack, I miss having him around, I should start training him again. He's a good boy

Oh I didn't tell you did I? I've applied for my provisional (in the UK you need one to take a driving test) so I'm going to be learning to drive, if all goes well...

Kimmi also got into college! She was worried because she got into college in Ayrshire, but was scared she wouldn't get in college at Midlothian.. So well done Kimmi my darling :)

I've been going to the football a lot too, that's been fun :)

Going to see if I have any pics for you guys ...

My season ticket seat lol!!

Birthday cake lol

Anyway.........

I'll leave it there

Thanks for the read and goodbye

Fuckers.

:D

.

It was a cold and dark road with grass blowing in the moon light, the shadows of his past raised by his head and were sucked into the blue moon above.

Whispers from his demons and secrets from his mind became to be clear to him. His choices were hard and his fantasy of a better life were in front of his eyes

The rain began to pour and pour, and as the rain was pouring he could feel something so much more then pain and fear

He could feel the wire crossing into his soul, wrapt around his legs and inside his heart which was on his sleeve. He had less courage then before and all he wanted to do was to believe

But the abandonment sunk in and his dreams fell apart. What was he scared of, what was he doing, where was he going?

The night began to crisp and he learned from his mistakes in past tense to just be patient, it's been so long since the smile of friendship graced his poor mind and loneliness sinks in

Who was he, why was he so angry at the road ahead, then it struck at him like a tree to a loch

He wasn't angry at himself or anyone else. He was disappointed at the selection and placement he had been given. He was just frustrated 

He got his head together and realised his call, without anyone and anything he learned to stand tall he believed in fairytale as strange as it may be,

He learned to be, finally free

From his cold dark road with grass

Thank you