So keep on going

Keep on writing even though it hurts, keep on giving even though you can't keep on talking and get the situation under control, the mind is a big place and ive got an ace up in my sleeve, i truly believe that life doesn't end the way you want it to, lacking the affection needed to help me be with you but fearing the daring words that will come softly through your pinkish lips, hearing a heart break and learning from old mistakes are the wise words i may have been brought up upon

far far aways as oceans come creeping on me, near but not so far are the scars im reminded by you each and every single day, i write to set them free, i drink to feel the pain, and i take the pills to steal a dream of something that can make me clean, i wash the scars away from the ground, drifting a part without a sight nor sound

im fearing the worst and have so much hope, so what do i do when my lines begin to choke, i was told to bite my tounge and wait till the madness would have begun but the madness is creeping down upon me, when your not here to rescue me, i beg for a second chance at what we call love, i long to hear you whisper with your golden touch

truely now my heart is breaking for sure now there's no mistaking a lie in what we went through, but we have the futurue to keep us warm, and each and every day is a hope that i can make play, to play around with my true feelings and make the madness end, but there's only one note i shall send

and that is, please never say lets just be friends

i love you
i love you right now
i feel you right now, but my heart begins to break

call it love or madness, i know my only mistake was seeing the girl with the letter F

when i should have been, with the girl who made me feel alive

and her letter is M and last name begins with T

she truly sets me free

wont hear

You wont have to hear the sadness in my crys
you wont have to worry about me being so ill and never kind
you wont have to hear the sadness in my voice
it's quite so simple now hear my choice

after all that has become and all the nights have turned
ill be the one who has falling, the one who may burn
you wont have to worry about me,
or hold me as i fall

after all, we knew it wouldn't last,
im falling and you see me apart of your past

i have no regrets about the days that went by,

i only wish that i could have lied...

so you wouldn't have touched me in my heart

goodbye:/

I'm The Best Kind Of Mess

Christmas time

christmas time is for giving and living out your fantasys,
So i would like to get naked, and by naked i mean emtionallty....
i wanna tell you whats on my mind i think about you everday day and night
i jsut wish you would spend christmas time with me that's my fantasy

I know i've done some that are stupid but i hope that one day you will forgive me
i wanna tell you whats on my mind, i think about you everyday and night i just wish you'd spend christmas time with me, thats my fantasy, you and me , thats my fantasy,

you and me at christmas time,
you and me at christmas time,
you and me at christmas time,
you and me at christmas time
christmas time
christmas time,
christmas time,
christmas time
christmas time,
Christmas time,
with you, me and you, me and you, me and you...

Do you Remember 7869696

Do you remember The time you said everything will be fine
Do you remember when tears would flow and you'd be so kind
I remember the times we had, speaking all day and night, it was only time not on our side
I remember the many things that we once said
cause i remember true happiness by myside that day

So here's a story of a broken tale gone unsold
I feel the hunger, building up right beside me.
The air is so cold and the nights are so long,
my mind seems to wonder how long will you be gone today

so i'll wait and il live in a world of pure imaginination
wishing the stars would fall down in an illustration
how i see clear how i wish that you were near
and im fighting each night and day, since the time alone has made me so much more and so much strong il guess i carry on


So here it comes, the simple minded fall, of a boy who's crazy a story book half unread, finding his way, around a single day, without a trace without a sound he's making new ground


fighting each day, as he turns and fall's he's got nothing to hold
she rescued him a world without a sin a big long grin is something he can't see


but life comes out, and gives you deals with something more and something you can heal
and life is so hard, but with his love and strengh he can carry on.


yes he can carry on


..

Let's give it ago.

Not sure what to write about to be honest. Today was an okay day, i am looking forward to Christmas, Just the whole atmosphere at the house, it's really nice, everyone relaxing being happy you know? I will miss speaking to Martina though, but she celebrates Christmas a day before me... which is, which is hm, i don't know WEIRD! Jesus was born on the 25th, not 24th -_-

I watched a really weird documentry last night, It was about a guy who has collected Garbage for the last ten years, his house... he had to float about in his house cause it was piled with rubbish, like old news papers, boxes... Then he got help cleaning the rubbish from his garden, then to his house.. a guy was going to throat away a broken pink umbrella but he argued over the umbrella, in a way i felt sorry for him, his mental health.. people thinking he was weird, and the guy wasn't a loser, or his home wasn't in the surburbs or anything, he was actually quite well spoken, and his house was a mansion 0.o

Speaking of TV i will record one of my favourite shows tonight well me and martina's favourite, it's a really funny show called "how not to live your life" it was cancelled but they are doing a christmas special, so me and martina will watch that together which is nice ! here are a few clips of the show !

Right now i am writing this whole martina is picking her nose, such a filthy habbit hahaha

I feel so bored, need something interesting to do XD oh well going to speak to Martina!

bye !

55

i was trapt beneath the dirt

and i heard the call above 

it was sent to rescue me and i was finnally free

You are a good friend and that is something clear

i will always have you in my heart and that's something so near 

to me the ocean comes and to me the ocean nears

but what do i do when i can't speak to you

i sit and stay strong

bestfriends till the end

if we have problems they shall mend

we won't ever let petty talk come into play

just say youll always stay

you saved me once

you saved me twice

i owe you my fucking life

im so grateful for the days that come ahead

instead il be looking to the future to adopt an insite instead

so this is the end of the lyrics coming a head

but just remember that even if we are far

you're always a shooting star

just be who you are

and never let them win

make them pay for each of there sins

and we will know that youll always win

love 76

The pale white moon reminds me of her face

my heart skips a beat everytimes i feel the need, to find her without a trace

I love her whole, i need her now, but what can i do, when i'm an ocean without you

shiney stars come falling down, the spark beneth the sky turns blue oh how i think of you

each night and day i pray, we might meet again, i don't know what to do to stop this pain

the fact that i might lose you one day ripts me a part, and i need my spark

holding you in my arms, my system falls down

all locks are coverd now, with a simple beat of my skipping heart

paitence is something thats never came to me

but you're the one who made me see clear

because really, i have nothing to fear

with you by myside, each night and day 

il find hope in new ways

and fall inlove with you all over again

to stop my dying pain

'#98

This is about Mareike.

I guess everybody's got a secret

.time to face the truth.

what will you do?

It's times like this that i wish life was simple

simple minded infact of a statement 

told by me i hold the key's to set you free

all you do is take and take, all you say it was my mistake

il watch you burn alive it's simple and when time goe's by..

Start to lie away night and everyday, what you do is something i can't take
you feed the whole world your lies to get on by,
come on when will it end can't you just see that i'm the one who can only set you free?!.

And the kindness drips, the words come quick, you won't stop all this hate
and that's quite fine watch a liar die, you'll die, you'll die

Now everybody speaks a lie and holds a truth, it's something that aint bullet proof, keep on talking
keep on mocking i'll shoot you in the head
Watch the tears drip down, cower down, see what you've become
All a lesson in mis conception is something your used to
i'll make you see the regrets on your mind and take you apart with my time
itl come ....
it'l burn
it'l burn
watch a liar burn because


And the kindness drips, the words come quick, you won't stop all this hate
and that's quite fine watch a liar die, you'll die, you'll die

So why believe me when you feed yourself the lies
you watch the time go bye and everything dies
no sel respect a lesson in regret you'll burn. you'l burn. you'll burn

YOU'LL BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the kindness drips, the words come quick, you won't stop all this hate
and that's quite fine watch a liar die, you'll die, you'll die


And the kindness drips, the words come quick, you won't stop all this hate
and that's quite fine watch a liar die, you'll die, you'll die

Hanging from the bathroom walls,
hanging from the bathroom walls
in a pool cover of blood when im done you'll start to become a mistake
a mistake


And the kindness drips, the words come quick, you won't stop all this hate
and that's quite fine watch a liar die, you'll die, you'll die

Carnaval De Paris !

I love 

THIS SONG

:D

<3

Ps it's me with the Scotland body paint and the football...

^^

I love this song

Check out this band from Sweden

I love their music! i'll post two of they're songs i love !

Clean clean clean

So I woke up at seven and had the urge to clean lol

I've had an ok day with Jacky :3

Oh yeah my tank tops came through today from Shock,

They're so cool lol here r some pics I took

Christmas is soooooooooon

Hey!

Christmas is soon so i thought i would post my favourite

happy holiday song !

ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

voice of an angel

Christmas Shopping !

So today i went christmas shopping ! 

i was in town and i lost £20:/

but i still got the gifts i wanted !

I got gifts for my two brothers, dad and Martina <3

getting my mum's gift soon:)

oh and my uncles gift !

it was cool though:]

here is edinburgh at christmas time !

Pretty huh?

haha 

Now to skype to speak to Martina :]

<3

Oh yeah i think she'l love her gift:D haha

Hmm

Every year since I wad .. What 8? I have hoped for snow .. Still no snow :(

Lonely.

Nearly half  4 in the morning Still haven't got my sleeping pattern right.

Feeling lonely, lost in my thoughts... 

Missing My girlfriend:/

Things will get better in the end won't they?...

Won't they?

I feel like writing but my mind is blank and my thoughts are so focused on writing this

But to be quite honest with you..

My loyal loving readers...

I have no idea what to Blog about

I thought maybe come on here and describe how i am feeling would make conections

I guess im not inspired to write much right now...

All i have to hope for now is...

To get to sleep fast

Have a nice christmas

Meet Martina Soon...

Scared to let my mind wander, and then the monsters come out to play

wishing and thinking back to a tale of better days

guessing and make believeing the truth is near

lost in my mountains upon mountains, the clouds are something to fear

you gotta be strong and feel like you have something to belong too

i gotta make believe that everything will be fine

when i haven't even committed a single crime

so when will it stop and when will i see clear

that the rose petals may fall and the lights begin to swallow me up

up in a sky with time passing by i'll tell you a secret, now feed me your lies

hahaha lyrical writings ftw..

meh

meh

meh

meh

i'm addicted to blogging TEEHEE!

Hello my viewers, and an extra special hello to my viewers from Sweden! oh i had one from aussieland and belguim lol!

So im staying awake to get my sleeping pattern better XD

Im playing a kinda tap tap game but with your own bands you submit, like falling in reverse ive been playing three songs ...

Trying to beat my high scores XD woooo !

been speaking to Joanna which is nice, supporting her is nice too!
and spoke to martina, shes at school though

have i annoyed u with all my blog posts?

ok il stop

nah, its my blog il do what i want hahaha

gotta go update more soon

Viewers

I love all these countrys:)

Thank you <3

Sweden

United Kingdom

Russia

United States

Germany

Ireland

France

Austria

South Korea

Finland

Fan page!

Since i had 5000 friends on facebook on another account

And i don't want to use that account anymore 

kinda due to the fact i kept getting so many adds and couldn't accept people...

Add my fanpage!

Click here idiot:P

Ps i was on omegle today.. wtf is that guy ?!

Blogs to view

I think it is time i give credit where it is due, you see i love this site, so these are my top ten blogs to go on

number one

Martina; my beautiful girlfriend, whom i adore

Go view her blog, she speaks some seriously good shit, i love reading her blog, a part from when she writes lies about me:P go view:D<3

Next one is Joanna's fucking blog :D

She never stops writing, seriously, she's like a really bad period XD

wtf?

anyway she's my best friend, you will enjoy her blog, tell them both big madog steve sent yah

All i got to say is...

+

+

<Where is Mr Jinx?!?!?!?!?!?!>

                                        =
.........."YOU TRIED TO MILK HIM DIDN'T YOU, YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH" -Jack

 =

?!?!?!?!

=

"HAHAHAHAHA"

Now i can't sleep YAY -_-

Okay so i just realised what is happening today

I'm not saying anything but.. i will say i am worried.

But am i staying strong? You bet your fucking ass i will be strong!

I need to be because she has been strong for me so many fucking times, it's unbelieable!

Sometimes in life you never get the chance to make a conection with someone, 

You never get to experiance what life is all about, having someone who is there for you

going back to my teenage years i could never believe in a thing such as a friendship

You know... Oh they must fancy eachother if they are so close friends...

Until i met Joanna... Joanna is so dear to me, and even myself might think it looks weird

from an outsiders point of view.... thinking oh stevie must love her more then a friend

No thank you? why would i ? i mean there is no way i would want to risk such a friendship

i actually become sick at the thought LOL 

...

wait!? that sounds so harsh ! let me go into detail...

I feel sick because she is like a sister to me, and i'm sorry but i don't believe in incest lol!

But seriously here, i value our friendship. and i am scared for her today

but i know she is a very strong person, and she can't be broken down...

maybe im worrying all over nothing right?

thats my trademark i guess....

everything willl be fine...

praying or you sweetie

<3

Nini

Crossing my fingers for my favourite Nazi German friend nini XD

goodluck sweetie

Not Good Enough For Truth In Cliché - Escape The Fate

I don't know what it is about this song, the lyrics, the melody, the drumming, i really do not know what it is, the way his voice grabs you in and makes you want to listen, it just blow's my mind. The song has been out for Four years now and is still my most played on itunes , (1333 times)

I am madly in love with the song, it is just so beautiful, and to be quite honest, it's the song that inspired me to write, before my writings i never took it seriously, i never even knew i had a gift... i thought oh isn't that normal? lol but the way he sings and the way the song is it makes me want to write so much more, and isn't that a great thing?

How i can relate to music through pictures and lyrics ...

Oh, I hate to be the one to bear the bad news Yes, it is true I finally fell in love

 I fell so hard that I'm killing myself Yes, I need out Out of this grave that I've dug And all the friends that I have gone through And how much I deserve the pain It's a shame

 So hold your head Hold it up high Here's to the friends that were alibis Keep this close by your side When I come home we will have our night 

Oh, they always told me I was gorgeous in a way And that fateful day I found who I was So fill this hole with my prescriptions I just keep feeding my addictions

 And all the friends that I have gone through And how much I deserve the pain It's a shame So hold your head Hold it up high Here's to the friends that were alibis Keep this close by your side When I come home we will have our night We will have our night

You were the ones that stood by my side, whoa And I was the one that fought all of your fights

Go! (Hold your head, hold it up high) Whoa (Keep this close by your side) Whoa So hold your head

Hold it high Here's to the friends that were alibis Keep this close by your side When I come home we will have our night Hold your head Hold it up high Here's to the friends that were alibis Keep this close by your side When I come home we will have our night Hold your head Hold it up high Here's to the friends that were alibis Keep this close by your side When I come home we will have our night We will have our night <3333

I miss her too ...

I miss Martina, but in a different way... I miss being able to hold, kiss and touch her, i hate this long distanced shit lol

I just wish i would be able to hold her:/ it kills me, and i count the days untill we can meet again and everything can be okay, because im kinda in my own personal hell right now without her....

But i will wait, because someone once told me, you gotta go through hell before you get your heaven

when i come home we will have our night baby<3

i love you <3

WHEN I COME HOME WE WILL HAVE OUR NIGHT ! <3

I need you how like i need air, i'll suffocate myself in self pity until i can hold you in my arms once more

And when the time comes and everything has done....

We will finally see what our future has become

Sp<3Mt

<3

Attention, Attention everyone, i have a couple of things i would like to get off my chest! HAHA

Okay, i'm not going to lie or sugar coat anything here, i seriously mean the words i am talking about here

I miss my friend, a good friend, who is like a sister to me, my soul mate, you See Joanna has been very busy at work and she is going through a lot right now (which im not prepaird to say) at first i thought okay, itl be a short time i can handle it

But i can't i miss her every day, i just hope she is doing fine, and i want what is best for her, she is one of the bestest people in my life and i need her, so if you are reading this know i love you with all my heart, and will wait for you to get back to your normal routine and wait for you to feel better

i will wait for a long time for you

<3

Just know i miss your crazed antics and think of you every day even if it makes me cry lol

love you sweetie <3

Ps the waiting forever song, i don't want Joanna in my arms XD not in that way, im just focusing on the main lyrics, i will wait forever... and i will because she is my best friend nothing more, nothing less, <3

I liked this video !

Hello Joe !

Christmas Tree

So this post will be a kinda diary thing i have going, like my previous posts, i will be spilling out on what is on my mind, Martina told me to do so and so did Joanna a long time ago so let's go shall we?

The other day I was speaking to Mother, and i said to her, You know it's weird, She said what is? I said " The christmas tree isn't where it is normally, and hardly and decorations", she said, well you' are all grown up now you don't need it.

I thought to myself, wow, she is right, i am all grown up, Time has gone way so fast, i still feel like i'm a 15 yr old kid at times, You know... And everything is going so fast at times and it's like forcing me to do things i really don't want to do, because i feel like i am not ready

In my life right now from an out siders view i pretty much have the perfect life, a beautiful loving Girlfriend

A bestfriend who would die for me

oh and a dog, lol

But seriously, where has the time gone all of a sudden? it's funny

When you were Younger you would hear people saying, oh when you're my age you're going to wish you were 14 again, and i never really believed them

now i do, i kinda wish i could go back and do things differently,

this is what gives me determinattion to do well sometimes

to try and think in the future... what would the 57 yr old Stevie say to the 20/21 year old Stevie

FUCK EVERYTHING THAT MOVES

haha only kidden lol

anyway, christmas is coming soon, so i want this christmas to be special

I want to spend it with family, then after that go back to Sweden to see my beautiful girlfriend and her dog :D

DOG

lol

thanks for reading, more updates soon
-Stevie

Made me laugh so much :')

Can't wait to get an xbox, going to be adding this cunnnnnt:D

OMG! I can't Wait :D!

Family

Sometimes in life you hear the saying, you can't pick your family, my response, I know!
I just don't understand what has died beneath this roof, is it the fact that i dress different? The fact that i express my feelings through music

or is it the fact i live in a wannbe surburbing area (yes im not good with spelling, get over it!)
All my life i have noticed i have been different in many ways, and all though my family has always came through for me, and i am truly greatful, it sometimes feels that it isn't enough, your brother looking like the world has ended  because he bet on a football match and his team didn't win, is in a bad mood with you for no apprent reason

The father who doesn't know how to talk to you, and is too stressed because of work

The mother who you are kinda close to who just ignores you apart from when... let's just say... "happy"

Oh and how can we forget the brother who let's his friends drag your name through the mud and hates you over something you can not help, but still expects you to be their on his wedding day

Truth is, the only family member who has looked out for me, has to be my uncle, he is kind, giving, and he talks to me, sure we have had our ups and downs in the past, words have been said, even actions down, but we have always put that behind us.

If only i could do that with my family, but the truth is, i don't fit in, i really don't so they cut me off, and when i question them about it, they use shallow, little non exsistent, allibis.

This is what made me move to Germany in the first place, people would ask don't you miss your family, my reply, no.

It kinda was the same in Sweden. "i bet your parents are happy to have you back" hahaha, if only...

It's funny how you look at a picture or look at the actions of people, you think, wow, they must have a good life, truth is, they are suffering

I would know...

So what do i do?

I carry on, trying to build a bridge, i can only do what i can only do and if they are not interested, then rest in peace number 42.

thank you for reading

Trapt

Ever feel like you're going insane? you feel like everything you know around you is going way, way, way too fast and the only way to make it stop is to close your eyes and relax?

But what if you can't? what if you don't know how to relax? I for one have never had the privilege of being able to do so, so what now? what now for me?

I carry on, i keep telling myself it is all in my head, and to be quite honest & fair it is, it has always been this way
and it's time for me to stand up, and face it face to face, and say "i'm not scared of you" I can't run away from it

I dare not to, because i have my happiness on the line, my world and everything that makes me whom i am, I might have not been a saint this year, or the last, or the last

But for everyone out their, who hates my guts (i can name a few) just remember the saying

Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future.

I will over come what has been planted in my head to become that monster, who i have never had the luck of getting rid of,

With determination and strengh, i can only see success in the face.

Who know's maybe i'll cut the throat of this monster and be the person i know i can be.....

Thank you for reading...

this song is better then joannas !

I wanna have sex with these, Seriously....

NOM NOM

Long time no talk

So right now i am speaking to Joanna
It's been a long time since we have skyped, it's fun!
she's in a lot of pain right now, cheer up sweetie !!!!!!!!

i have no idea what else to say

oh yes, i have applied for a well known band, their lead singer left last week, i'm not going to be talking about it much since i don't wanna get my hopes up, but maybe you guys will hear me sing soon

yay!

now to carry on cheering up Joanna!