Till I drop.

College :]

So Yesterday I had an amazing trip to Glasgow, I went to go chase up The college about the application i have sent. But there wasn't anyone who could help me with it, so i am going to go call the college tomorrow, I was there to support Kimmi though, She is doing musical theory So i had to wait outside for her, she was singing and even had to dance, lol.

But i am going to be doing acting, and i do think i will get an interview, i hope i do, because i just want to go to college so badly... it would be so nice, i even plan on getting my own house as i have said, which will be hard. but.. i believe in myself, and it will be fun too :)

Nini also spoke to me yesterday, she got a tattoo and was out hanging with Friends. she even sent me a cool little video. Right now i am just getting ready to go out, It's a sunday night i have money, so why not, Better then staying in all night right ?

I also got deuce's album this week too, I posted lyrics in a previous blog, It was my favourite lyrics of the song, they are really strong lyrics, which are cool. he's a great writer, I look up to him as a writer

I don't write much as i used to, i've been busy with people and well i used to write about bad stuff but i've not really had any bad things happen recently.

I feel happy, and it's good, i'm going in the right direction college, house, friends and it's nice. i'm wanting to make that one person proud, yeah .. me. And i am proud of myself, anyway got t go, have a picture

bye

Now you see my life and it looks so pretty looks so pretty

You want what you can't have and you know that's too damn bad

Try and take my pride we both know that's silly know that's silly.

You want what you can't have and you know that's too damn bad.

Good-bye Good-bye

Everything will be alright

Good-bye Good-bye

I promise I'll be by your side

Good-bye Good-bye

Rest in Peace alone

I wouldn't put a fuckin' flower on your gravestone

If you died

Good-bye Good-bye

Everything will be alright

Good-bye Good-bye

I promise I'll be by your side

Good-bye Good-bye

Rest in Peace alone

I wouldn't put a fuckin' flower on your gravestone

if you died

you want my life you wanna take away whats mine but i got rightsand ill keep singing till the sun don't rise
it's like a game for me to watch you suffer in painit's my favourite thingand im a do this shit till you slain

I'll burn a hole through your cross

My souls already lost

And it's funny 'cuz they're saying 'He's hott.'

But they don't see the fucking tears that I've cried

And they don't hear me when I scream when I die

I wanna live good, I wanna live right

My insecurities are eatin' me alive

I need a friend, someone close to my heart

That'll help me through my struggles

You can help me through my times

I'm supposed to be the one who brings us all together

Weak or strong, not just a song

We sing along when things go wrong

You will need me when you fall

And I will need you when I'm wrong

Tears lead me on

They let me lead you so far

Weak or strong, I'll hold your arm

I already found the devil, he's my best friend

He taught me how to leave, but I don't wanna end

I want a pill for every bad thought

For every chick I fucked

For every time I lost

Don't think I'm broken, 'cuz I'm not

Got milk? Got problems?

Problems is all that I got

You're looking down on a barrel of a bent pole

Take my hand, I promise that I'll go slow

When you looked too close you end up with a broke soul

'Cuz in the end it's certain where all the souls go

Maybe you can show me how to live right

And come see how it all ends wrong

I'll take you to a place so warm

Like the insides of a baby unborn

The bible keeps telling me 'Don't go! '

They don't know what I know, what?

You won't reap what I sew, what?

You won't cease when I blow, yup!

I won't leave when you go, nope!

Come with me, let us go home

See my conscience dont work no more, it dont hurt no more

And it dont hurt to see you lying, it dont work no more

So when Im saying stay away, realize I aint fucking playing

Younger, let my younger days

Maybe hungry but Im crazed

Raised by criminal ways, hear the chandlier break

It aint no mistake, Im waitin on Alana's grave

Inking pictures from my veins

Aint no fuckening for Jane

Inking for my brothers rain on my arm, you'll see the same

And if I never see your face, I will always feel the same

Define me from the wrongs, so when Im gone my spirits will live on

Let my lyrics show you God

you can go and ask god, even he wants you dead.  i'll put your name to shame each time my pen hits the paper

pft.

i used to have so many friends, i thought i could trust, but when it came to saving me you let me self destruct well i'm back now,
i'm seeking out this vengeance . not to mention that this black cloud, it sticks around and visits  my intuition wont let me back down. and i swear to god
my heart is piston pumping rage into this wngine turn the keys to my ignition listen, nobody likes me, its enlighting, it excites me that i talk this shit with the lyrics i 
spit and still nobody will fight me try walkin a mile in my shoes and get beaten by your own nikes im a grimey mothafucker with the mic so call me mikey i got now patience lately from 
these fucking faggots faking making lies up wise up, if you really think you can take me wake me up from this lazy babble rattle you with my crazy battle
paid my dues back on the saddle the lonely road that i slowly travel

Deuce .

Nine lives Yeah deuce is back <3

I've got Nine lives ;)

Hello:]

So i haven't updated my blog in a while, i thought i would do it here. Right now!

I did upload a blog post a few minutes ago but wasn't really happy with it because i have a lot more to say.

Damn me for deleteing it, i should have just clicked edit ! So the big news for me is

I got a phone, I got my photo shoot done and i have another in two weeks. and I am looking for an apartment. and, and and, I spoke to Angry Grandpa on Skype :]

Okay So as people know i am banned from obtaining the rights to have a contract phone, since i owe the network Orange about £900 :') (CHASE ME UP MOTHER FUCKERS, AINT GETTING YOUR MONEYS BACCCCCK) So now that i am finished taunting Orange i will continue what i was going on about?

But remember there is always, ALWAYS a loop hole, So i had around £300 on me, well £375, So i went to Cameron Toll shopping center to look at the phones, I wanted the Iphone, but god damm i aint spending £500 on a phone, no chance. So i went into a phone shop called 3, They are looked down upon because they are cheap, but beggers can't be choosers right? so I was looking at the phones and i wasn't sure what one to get,

I looked at Nokia's, Iphones, Samsungs and blackberrys.

I picked the blackberry, The guy in the shop said to me, yeah it is out your price range, but if you get a rolling contract for 11 months, Not two years like a contract, i would have to pay £150 for the handset, so he gave me a great deal, 600 minutes, 3000 texts and all you can eat internet, :D so now i can be on facebook while i'm lost in town ranting and raving, isn't that magical?!

It's only £20 a month and i called 3 and mad sure i can't go over £20, if i use 600 minutes they phone will just not let me call anyone, it's so good:D!

Anyway about the photoshoot now, I decided to go for the photoshoot, and it went fan fucking tastic, i learned a lot about camera angles, poses, and lighting it's so cool, i might even take it as a subject in college it really interests me ! Kimmi came with me for support, she's a good friend to me right now, and supports me on whatever i do. Thank you so much sweetie :] and she was even in a few of the photo's which is cool, The photographer was weird, but in a nice weird way, weird is cool anyways!
He didn't feel like  aphotographer, well obviously he was, but he was more a friend, "go at your own pace, take your time" want to get something to eat, his name is JD and can't wait to work with him next month, i'll be posting the pictures down bellow.

And for Angry Grandpa, well i skyped with him, and he is such a nice guy, he isn't mean, sarcastic, i like that, i like sarcastic people, with a bit of a rough and tough attiude, i guess i can relate to it, anyway, some of the things he came out with was funny as hell, he couldn't understand my accent when i asked him a question, so he would just move on saying something out of context. hahaha, he also asked if i had Hot girls on my skype, i said no only friends XD... I also tuned in to his radio show and he sang loch lomond to me, which was cool, it was even in a Scottish Accent....

Tomrow i am getting up way early to make another Doctors appointment, I gotta call them at 8 A.M because to get a good apointment date you need to call early, which is crazzzzzy. Anyways I will go into town and ask the goverment on getting a flat, i want to get help so it will be easy i guess, i need advice with the whole god damn situation.

Rant time, my rant this time is about strangers talking and acting like they have known you for years doing personal stuff, i was at a club in Glasgow last week and this girl comes upto me when i'm smoking is like hey i've seen you before, i dont even reconize her so i'm like, hm have we? she said yeah i said to you you were hot and had nice hey, i said ok thank you, then when i go in i say bye, she comes upto me gives me a cuddle and kisses me, it pissed me of because i like my own space, and to be honest don't like random girls doing this shit to me:S

Anyways I'm off, talk to you later guys, take care

lol

People seem to think that they have this big amazing plan, that they will act a certain way and everything will be fine, There's no need to act. there's no need to create a plan, by all means have your safety plan, if the shit hits the fan. But you can never plan out life. Life deals you cards that you just gotta accept, there is no changing them, or trading or editing them, You accept the level you have been given and learn from actions, so don't tell me you have it all figured it out.

Give it back !

i used to have so many friends, i thought i could trust, but when it came to saving me you let me self destruct well i'm back now,
i'm seeking out this vengeance . not to mention that this black cloud, it sticks around and visits  my intuition wont let me back down. and i swear to god
my heart is piston pumping rage into this wngine turn the keys to my ignition listen, nobody likes me, its enlighting, it excites me that i talk this shit with the lyrics i
spit and still nobody will fight me try walkin a mile in my shoes and get beaten by your own nikes im a grimey mothafucker with the mic so call me mikey i got now patience lately from
these fucking faggots faking making lies up wise up, if you really think you can take me wake me up from this lazy babble rattle you with my crazy battle
paid my dues back on the saddle the lonely road that i slowly travel

Realtionships & being who you are.

Relationships are something special in my eyes. You can have them with anyone, be your family, friends, or a boyfriend/girlfriend.

I think the relationship you have with your family is something that never dies, sure you have your ups and downs. but in the end they are and will be the only true people out there who will love you for you, and that's something special in today's world.

Realtionship's with friends too, you could be a prick, an asshole, but you still love them
you might not talk for hours in an end, but you still love them, days could go by, even months, but you still love them i have a few friends who i hardly speak to but i still love them.

Personal relationships, with a boyfriend or girlfriend, can be special too, but they can't at the same time. i was in a situation a few months ago where the girl wasn't ready. i was, i wanted to settle down with her, but she wasn't ready, we were only seeing each other though, but it was still better then nothing. but then i thought to myself why am i doing this to myself? so i walked. and for another reason, i loved my ex girlfriend, but never reall knew or wanted to believe it. now my last realtionship it was a difficult ending, it hurt me a lot and im sure it hurt her just as much from the way i acted during the relationship. but i guess things don't work out

Fact is, a lot of stuff in life does not work out, and you can't expect your loved ones to pick you up everytime you fall on your ass, right now i have a fine relationship with friends and family, and i'm happy with it. i'm content so to say

But i will never count on them too much, the only person i count on is myself and well jack, my dog yeah
i count on him to be happy when he see's me, and the weird thing is he knows when i am sad, he will come over lick my hand and put his head on my knees, smart ass dog.

Realtionship wise for a girlfriend or a boyfriend, i'm single, and probably won't get another partner for a long time. until i meet "the one" i just don't feel ready i really don't and that's fine i guess,

Never take a realtionship for granted, cherish what you have and make the loved ones around you proud

Being who you are also, people say to me, oh i like your hair, how did you cut it like that, in the past i have used pictures to get a haircut but i expanded on it,

what does that mean? well, i added my own traits to it, i liked the haircut that i printed off of the snow white poisons bite singer, but i added my own cleeks to it.

Another thing people ask is where do you shop, it annoys me because i don't want them copying me, my clothes are for me, i can wear skinny jeans today but then i'll wear swet pants and a football top or even afootball top and skinnys !

even with music, people say oh check out this band, i'm like no, but then two months later i check them out when i want to and like them ! thats something that i am proud of

and to get this photoshoot is a thumbs up to me because i must be doing something right, right? ha

anyway im going to try and write more like this from now on, giving my view on things, take care

The shoot is going to happen.

Just finished discussing the photo shoot. It will happen next Sunday at 10 am. but it will be at Princess Street Gardens. I am just so happy to be doing this, it should be good fun. I knew someone who used to model. She's very special, so i will meet up with her during the week over a starbucks and ask for tips on the shoot. anyway pictures will be up next week. :]

BYE

I get all the.

HERE FUCKING KITTY KITTY

LOL My favourite part is 01:01 " WHAT THE FUCK " HAHAHAHA

I wonder, how am i supposed to feel when you're not here cause i burned every bridge i ever belt when you were here.

I still try, holding onto silly things i never really learn.

Had such a fun night!

I went to Glasgow last night! it was awesome, i drank jagerbombs and i drank sam buka and had a beer XD It was a rock n roll club i went to, they were playing metal, rock. even some pop, here is some of the music i was singing along too haha

So i got a taxi back from Glasgow at 4 in the morning, I had the coolest Taxi driver ever !
I asked him hey, is it okay if i smoke here ? he said SURE! he pulled out a cigarette and smoked it while driving hahaha:D

Oh yes and i have news, it's not a definit but.. i might be taking some modeling pictures, a photographer from Dundee, asked if i wanna do a few shots, so hey asked if next Sunday would be good. so i might be doing some of it, i am impressed with his work, here's a few pictures of his work..

So this will be fun :]

I might also be getting tattoo'd next week, it depends on a few stuff.
I wanna ask myself questions about the design, not the meaning but the design.
Anyway i have a hangover and my neck hurts from head banging, time to drink irn bru and go out and buy an iphone;) see ya :)

How does it feel knowing your barely alive( alive, alive)

I must agree your just like me.

Interview With Steve

BAM !

It's here, I had a lot of fun doing this

giving my view and shiz. 

Was such a fun thing to do !

Enjoy.

More pictures from Friday lol

hahaha don't drink kids.

Notice the bottle full...

now half empty LOL

Interview time with steve

So excited for this interview, i love watching his video's. I actually done the interview a few weeks back but his camera had problems, he is a really nice guy, he's very insightful. i just can't wait to speak to him, be stoked enjoy the video.

I am trying.

I'm trying to be a better person, being the epitome of a true underdog.
I'm always trying to look at people in different way's. Trying to visualise what i do want and truly need
I'm not trying to be a saint. I'm not trying to be a savour. I'm trying to be the person who i know i can be
I can be that person. So why try and ruin it by saying or doing something dumb or childish.
I'm trying to be a better person, giving the under dog the chance. giving the girl who has glass's and spots
a hello back. Giving the guy who just wants to fit in at the rock scene advice. giving that homeless person my last 20 pence. Looking at my friends in a different way and seeing the quality's they have.
Trying to help people out with advice i know i can give

So tell me, why do i still feel like i am failing, even when i am TRYING to be that good person i know i can be, because' i am not trying hard enough? or am i trying even hard enough that my brain has quickly gone into over drive that i can feel the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Something is missing from my life, i know it. but i am following my dreams. I'm going into acting soon. and getting a flat in Glasgow.

I drank a fith of vodka, dare me to drive - eminem is the king, by the way.

I am just sick of all these fakeness of people i seem to run into, you know, the way the act, the things they say, they don't have peace of mind. The think they do, but the really don't i'm sick of how people always complain about just random shit, and actually think people want to listen. I am complaining, but am i expecting you to listen? fuck no

I couldn't give a fucking toss what you thought. i am writing this to get my feelings out of this, so when i am old and grey i can see how much i have improved as a human.

for fuck sake. another thing, why is it when you have a bad day, people think that you are over reacting.

I'm sorry but if they money i have been waiting for to come through for 6 fucking days still hasn't came through, i will be pissed. fuck you.

You're all like sleeping dogs that won't see the goodness in people, well some people will but will ignore it really. nah i kid. I know there are good people out there. it just frustraights me.

I'm not fucking saint. i know that but i will try and be the best person i know i already can be

Party Time.

Hello everybody, how have ya'll been? Me I've been doing good.

I was at a party last Friday, it was so good, Me, Kimmi & Liam met up and got the train through to Irvine, a small city on the west of Scotland, I made around 10 new friends, it was so good!

I got really drunk and sang, and I was even Screaming ! not like Raaa where the fuck is my beer?

Like screaming music wise, and about 3 guys came upto me and said, wow are you in a band, your screaming was really good, they actually meant it. which was a huge compliment to my ego haha.

But it was so good seeing Liam, i love this guy, he is such a good friend, it's good i have someone in my life like him, and even Kimmi she's became such a close person to me recently it's just nice to have those type of people and friends in your life.

Before the party we went to asda (a big shopping center which is own'd by wallmart.) i was looking for sam buka, i found a bottle but i only had £15 it was like £20 something?

So me and liam just got this crate of budwiser and this taqela thing lol it was gooood

I even smoked Weed, oh my god, NEVER do it! i swear, i done it because i was drunk and was like fuck it, i'm doing it, but it's not good, never again. But i am so happy to have made the new friends that i did, it was really good.

We did get lots of pictures but still waiting on Kris to send them, but i have one of me, liam and conor lol enjoy:D

bye

Dreams

you showed me all of yours dreams, you showed me all of your fears
now i see that your alone, now i see that your alone

now i see that you fell apart again, and i can see that we are ner the end
now i see that you fell apart again
and i can see that there's nothing left

you made it harder to feel, you made me see everything
now i see that your alone, now i see that your alone

now i see that you fell apart again
and i can see that we're near the end

now i see that you fell apart again

and i can see that there's nothing left

the nits go by as you sliip away all these thoughts they're just ashame tomrrow's gone so here's a song
before the lights go we'll stay low

now i see that you fell apart again ad i can see were near the end, now i see you fell apart again
and i can see that theres nothing left,

Help me.

Help me, i ain't got no brains, help me, I can't feel no pain, help me, I can't stand the rain. Help me before i drift away.

Mother-fucker, i ain't got no love, for a fake ass wannabe dying on drugs.

 Help me, i ain't got no brains, help me, I can't feel no pain, help me, I can't stand the rain. Help me before i drift away.

Auld Reekie.

Auld Reekie is the nickname given to Edinburgh because it comes from Scots. Auld means Old in Scots, and Reekie comes from another Scottish word meaning Reeking, which in English means Smelly, so old smelly.

Today I'm actually going to go to Mary's kings Klose. What it is is, it's the Edinburgh underground from the 1700's which people, women and children and men were locked in a vault for 100 of years with no food no water, (we basically killed them off,  why? because we had the plague in our city, we didn't want it spreading, so today i will be going under the city and taking a tour, i've been there 3 times and it's so fucking scary, i feel ghosts around me, which is scary but fun, people have reported getting tript, getting head aches, so i will be going on a tour of it today, which sounds fun,

Then i will get new lip rings and maybe a haircut, it's gotton far too long an thick,

Then on friday, i'm away through to Glasgow with Liam to go to a party, i'm either going to buy sam buka or Absinth, not quite sure yet, but hey you don't need to drink to have fun.. it just helps, here is a few videos of mary kings klose.

Bye