Video from a long time time ago !

Andrew wouldn't shut up.. so my dad done a very good thing !

this was taken about 6 years ago lol, enjoy!!

Kiss Me Thru The Phone.

Pictures ! .. AND A NEW COUCH!

So i went through old photo's today on my mum's phone and big news im getting this amazing couch ! CANT WAIT HERE IS A FEW PICS OF THE COUCH.. it's expensive 0.o

Looks comfy 0.o

Oh yeah and i found a few pictures of jack as a puppy !

And i found my old dog she was pretty !

Oh one year i sepnt christmas in england, and i wanted to see jack with his presents... look!

and here is a picture of me and my brothers

ignore me please
lmfao at my hair xD

BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Pretty song, agreed? agreed!

do you like my banner :D

What do i even write here?

Today i got up really early and went to town bla bla bla, i had an egg, bacon mcmuffin from mcdonalds, it was fucking amazing, but the hash brown was disgusting -.o

Afterrrrrr I went to the job center, I looked for jobs, but i decided to try Swedish jobs lol... here's what i got, (i have no fucking idea any of what they are XD)

But then i came home for some more sleep, spoke to my girl Martina <3 and then cleaned i found some amazing stuff !

One of my favourite t shirts! isn't it pretty LOL i thought my ex still had it in Germany but yay i found it:D!

and my glasses LOL i look like a pedo XD but oh welllll !

Oh yeah and i got coke today, i love coke! and not in a posh spice way !

<3333

Next week i might be booking the flight to Sweden to arrive on Thursday! but i need to make sure i have enough money for stuff and i need to find a suitcase fast, knowing me ill leave it to the last minute.. well not really but prob will, im going to wear my favourite hoodie! the Sweden hoodie:P LOOOK!!!

Im going to take it to Sweden with me <3







BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I bid farewell

goodbye old friends. <3

Feel Weak

I just can't do it anymore.

Going straight to hell

I'm Insane !

New tank top !

I wanna marry it, watch out Martina, you have compitition ;)

This is how i feel right now!

Shopping !

So yesterday i got spoiled by my mum we went shopping, i decided to take a few pictures to show everyone what i love starting with !

Twiglets, my favourite crisps, they are so fucking good, if you ever buy me a packet of these i will love you forever, marmite flavour, nom nom nom <3

Omg i love these crisps too LOL XD HIGHLANDERS (the one at the top) Scottish crisps LOL

LOL hay ! theyre's my mum LOL she turnt round and asked me what i was doing then...

She said after this picture "steven what the fuck are you doing" LOL

My holy water !

Scottish water......

Friendship.

A true friend will listen to you when you need to cry. Stick by you even though You might fail, never cheat, never lie, never making up secrets of despite. A true friend is someone who will care when no one else does, when you think that life will never be fair. A true friend is someone who is strong, who'll never ask you if you belong. A true friend will never hurt you, never bring you down and never make you learn from mistakes. A true friend might be miles away, you'll always miss them everyday....

Friendship is important to me, I am a very loyal person and stick by my friends like glue, You get two chance's with me, break my heart once, i will learn to forgive, break it twice. I will make you pay the Price, I had a close friend who broke my heart more then twice, the last thing they did was still be friends with a person i introduced her too, and even though the bad person was hurting me and doing stuff to hurt me, my "friend" didn't care, didn't want to listen, she judged me like every one else, my friend only listened when i
helped them with their problems, they took, took, took. all the time. and even though they still like to tell people about a bad past to what get even with me? They still arn't over me, why are you not over me?  Your not over me, just like your not over your father, the town drunk.... "You left my heart black and blue just like your father did to you " i don't want you in my life, i'm happy, i have My girlfriend and i have my bestfriend, leave me alone lol Anyway i dedicate this song, every word of it to this person... to the person i'm talking to about in this blog post, every lyric.... oh and did i mention i come to Sweden soon, maybe not to your city, but close;) read the lyrics close...

I really wanted to fit the lyrics into this so you can understand me. Because i relate a lot to this song enjoy

i was born one morning in July on the coldest day abandoned by my
Parents whom my Grandad i was raised. my Grandad raised my brother's and i with a
stubborn heart. my parents left me there good looks and Confident Charm

well i spend most of my teenage years searching for There love, i could not
find it anywhere so i turned to drugs, and after all the smoke had cleared
and it was said and done, i found myself addicted by the age of 17

i tell the truth


. i've been beaten i've been bruised i was left for dead
as well, i was wrongfully accused you left me locked inside a room

i've been cheated i've been sued but i have lived to tell, the more you
Talk about me when i'm down the more it truly helps.

i feel the madness creeping slowly, loved by many i'm still lonely, payed
the price for your mistake, the friendships died the day i walked away.

no, i wont let you in, not this time my friend, you know that i'm better
in the end. no, you wont take my pride, i'll keep my head held high. cause
i know that i'm better in the end.

woaaah, i know you're jealous and you wish you could be me, i'm so smart
and clever with my lyrics can't you see? there's nobody better in this
dirty old city and in case you think you are, go ahead, give me a ring!
woaaah

i've just had my purple heart
from all these fucking wounds. lacerations to my ego, pride that i consume.
and in your final hours, when you are looking back, you'll find that i'm
the best at what i do and that's a fact.

no, i wont let you in, not this time my friend, you know that i'm better
in the end. no, you wont take my pride, i'll keep my head held high. cause
i know that i'm better in the end. and i'll i
got to say (do do do do do do do do, bah bah bah da, do do do do do do do
do, la la la la la la)

take it or leave it but you best believe me it's true. there's all the
stinging of wisdom and thinking i'm through, i'll look better than you.

no, i wont let you in, not this time my friend, you know that i'm better
in the end. no, you wont take my pride, i'll keep my head held high. cause
i know that i'm better in the end. in the end.
(do do do do do do do do, bah bah bah da, do do do do do do do do, la la la
la la la)

Her voice might be edited to fuck, she might be a bad singer...

but, I respect her for singing about this. even if she didn't write this, who ever did, i respect them. Because they won't let anyone get them down and that's something you gotta respect. Yes it isn't my type of music, but i love this song for the lyrics:) sometimes i can relate to this song..

Oh My God ! I'm Sorrrrrrrry !

Hey ! Sorry I haven't wrote anything in a while, last week i was sick, so sick, i had a fever, so throat and a headache. I couldn't talk this morning so i've been in bed all day >.<

But what's new with me? nothing, still the same old.... but you know what

"I cut the throat of betrayal to watch HER BLEED"

That Means i got rid of someone i had too... it was worth it

Right now i'm speaking to Martina, she's very ill so i'm trying to cheer her up.

so cheer up soon baby! <3

Last night i was at the hospital, drunk LOL to meet my mother, i left an hour early because my pc is set in German time and i don't know how to get rid of it... so i went to the toilet to waste time their because i didn't wanna stand in the cold LOL i was sitting down and the lights went off!!! I thought i was stuck in the toilets LOL but i got out okay! Tonight i'll go back again so i can walk my mum home:) i'm such a good child ;D plus i will take Jack, my dog!

Speaking of dogs, today i was on the phone to Joanna, her dog ate something special, and Joanna was so scary!!! she shouted at LEI LEI but what lei lei done was bad and i don't blame my bestie, ... her anger face is like this....

BYE!!!!!!!!

It's funny..

It's funny how you get so attached to small things, Well I'm attached to this blog, i guess if i ever get my life back on track (which i am doing) I will look back on this blog, the bad times, the good times and smile. Knowing that i survived, maybe when i die someone will find this blog... Makes you think huh? it's a scary thought, but this could last FOREVER! and that's scary

Right now i am bored and should probably sleep, but i Guess i can't because of the stuff on my mind, like Martina and Joanna say, I over think the small stuff, when there is no real need too. I know i need to pick myself up and i truly believe i am, but sometimes the small things get to us and then we over think

I felt so good tonight just speaking to Martina:) it's a good thing:) i honestly can't wait to see her soon yay!!!!!!!!!!!!

But i felt bad because i over thinked things, plus my dog jacky was outside for two hours, yep Dad forgot to let him in... I heard crying from him and didn't know what was going on, so i went downstair's and noticed he wasn't in his basket... I opened the door and he ran in wagging his tail trying to kiss me LOL he was so cold so i let him lay on my bed (which you should never let a dog do by the way, Don't want them thinking they are better then you LOL) but it felt nice him loving me...

Right now i'm so tired and sick, i have a sore throat, runny nose.. haha i was about to write runny head XD wtf LOL

but yeah i guess i will try and sleep now,

Night blog!

Don't be shy.

So it has came to my attention that i have quite a few people from all over the world viewing my blog, But leaving no comments, or following me. It kinda hurt's me but not so much because I'm putting an effort in for You guys, but not getting anything back

But then i remember, I don't give a fuck LOL... So the balance is normal again... But if you would like to follow me go for it, don't be shy, or leave a comment on how you feel about my blog posts

If you don't have an account on here, then F*CK YOU, nah kidden, But you could always follow me on Twitter (www.twitter.com/steviiefukedup) or view me on Youtube (www.youtube.com/notfamouskid)

But Don't be shy to do anything :) I don't judge:P

Down bellow is how many views i've had in a month since having this blog.. it's scary LOL where are you all coming from 0.o

Pervs !

I have no idea what to write

This week has been pretty weird, i got drunk last night and had a massive hangover... i skyped with Joanna at like 5 am LOL i was panicing and called Martina at 3 am 0.o

I went to counselling and i got some good advice of Hayden, HI HAYDEN IF YOU'RE READING lol....

But yeah, life is life right now, i have no idea what to do.... I guess i should just live in the moment and not live in the past or future... like dogs... I love dogs :D!

I'm speaking to Martina right now...I guess i'm over thinking as usual... -_- i hate that...

I just wanna be happy... I am happy but i guess scared at the same time... hmm:/

HORNY!

LOL

Weddings...

Hmmm.. So My uncle will be getting married next week... he has invited me, but i have a few things i wanna get of my mind...

1 - he spelled my fucking name wrong on the invite with a PH (i hate that.)
2- I haven't seen him in about 5 years.
3- he is a dickhead
and four why the fuck would i wanna go to his wedding,

My family isn't the type of family to be all happy doing family things, far from it LOL

And my brother's wedding is coming next year

I hate him, now i know what you're all thinking, oh brothers have that war...

it's more than a war... i despise him for all the shit he has done to me...

acting like the saint

acting like the golden child

when the fact is he will never get what he wants

and the way he acts is for attention and it's pathetic..

i might just go and hang out at the beach and party and not bother showing up LOL free holiday

But the thing is i'm the odd one out huh! cause' i dress in skinny jeans and have piercings and by then tattoos

But the fact is, daddy wore skinny jeans and had hair down to his ass, and he ASKS ME WHY I LOOK THE WAY I DO!? WHEN HE WAS A FUCKING OUTCAST!!!!

my family wants to be fake.. i want nothing to do with them

Andrew is a person that i am against, his values, his appearence, his act... i hope he gets his heart broken, itl make me smile. lol no joke:)

I love you brother........












Not.

Working out.

So i really want to lose a bit of weight, not because i think omg i'm fat! no i know i'm not FAT

But i just want to have a slimmer body and i want it to be quite muscley, not big muscles but more toned...

it would be nice XD so i'm thinking of eating healthy... no junk food, no energy drinks, just water and fruit juice... and no alcohol and cigs or drugs... i'm not going to be straight edge i just want to look after myself...

i need motivation... well i don't need martina begging me to stop smoking XD it just annoys me -_-

And if Joanna smokes infront of me i'll kill her.. hmm...

maybe i should work out more in my room lol ? press ups? sit ups?

Imagine me with muscles in that pic would i look good lol?

I'm The Best Kind Of Mess

You all might be wondering why do i have "the best kind of mess" on my profile banner, well I have said in the past that the westener by Falling In Reverse is a song i can relate to, it's true. But i can also relate to this other song "mess" By Get Scared.

Why? because if you read the lyrics well sometimes, i believe i'm shut out, and I'm so used to sad... And I do take pills to get rid of the feeling, i would say i'm kinda addicted to them... I'm obessed with watching her fall out of love... my ex Mareike, yes i will say it i'm still not over her and i guess i will always love her in my own way,  but i'm getting over her day by day... anyway ...

But anyways i do believe i'm the best kind of the mess.. listen to the song

Caught Like A Fly

I love this preformance

To whom it may concern.

Whatever i feel like, whatever i may go through, i know deep down i am a strong person.

But have you ever noticed, if you act strong you get told you're arrogant, and people seem to test it to see if you really are.

Like spreading romours or something. talking shit, when they are the ones who promised they would stay by your side forever.

Right now I trust no one, a part from two people, My Best Freind Joanna, And Martina.

Why do i only trust two people? because i'm not a social whore, trust isn't something you give out like a bottle of beer at a drunken party, no. It takes time, a lot of time and one of the key things about trust is respect.

I would say i have full respect for the two people because i have heard their life storys, i have spent time with them and it's something i admire.

I have no idea what i'm meant to write here...

Oh another thing, it's funny how people think that since they are good looking they can say anything and do anything and it won't hurt you... but you know, i saw that beautiful person who treated me like shit, i spoke to her on the phone and i did tell her how it was,

When she tried to lower my self confidence, laugh at me and shit, i stood my ground and stood by what i believed in and told them straight up. get out of my life. I'm kinda proud of myself, and i'm not naming name's but anyone close to me will know that the name start's with S and she lives in a city called S ;)

But anyway i have no fucking idea what to write....

i'm listening to music, lalala here have a pic of me

BYE