WE WON THE CUP!!!!!!

We won!!!!!!!! My team Hibernian FC ended a 114 wait to lift the Scottish cup yesterday. We won 3-2 and there was a big pitch invasion where all the fans ran on the pitch to celebrate. I was crying, I couldn't stop singing and lost my voice. There is a parade today with the cup and the players across the streets of Edinburgh, I will update more soon but right now I'm outside a cafe having a Scottish breakfast and have £50 to spend on drinks to celebrate with Kim, couldn't be more happy it's like a dream! Update more info soon ! Glory glory to the hibees!!!!! 

Tomorrow.

So in bed now with Kim, and she was doing her work and I was doing mine... I have group tomorrow and I'm looking forward to it.. It's funny but two weeks ago at group there was a woman named (I'm not allowed to tell the names of anyone who goes to group, sorry it's the rules) and she was really nice and she would talk about her problems and how her girlfriend was supportive of her and she was just a nice person. And I felt so sad when she left. I wonder if anyone from group will feel sad when I leave?

It's funny I met someone from my past in town a few weeks ago.. And he was due to go to the group but had told me he refused... I tried encouraging him but he wasn't ready yet.. You need to be ready I guess. 

So on Friday another driving lesson, I almost crashed two weeks ago... I was really nervous.. So I'm going to be practising my meditation before hand, it starts at five pm so plenty of time. I guess since I was around school children in the street it didn't help. Shouting and screaming and oddly chucking chips at seagulls...

Then Saturday it's the final... Me and Kimmi will get the train to Glasgow... I was going to get a season ticket but £400 is a lot of money I would rather use it for driving lessons, I desperately want to drive. I have this dream of driving across Europe... Scotland first with the Highlands and Islands.... I really want to visit Orkney. They belonged to Norway, did you know that? Was given to Scotland as a present... They sound weird... They are very far from Scotland o think they are closer to stavenger which is Norway... Anyway I'm going to sleep now

I wanted to update my blog. Even though I doubt anyone reads if, I never check the stats don't know how to on my phone lol.

Bye for now

Fuckers

Picture from today.

Home :) 

Collecting tickets...

Well I'm off to Easter road, the home of my favourite football team Hibernian FC. To collect football tickets for Saturday's Scottish cup final Against Rangers.

This will be the second cup final in one season we have reached. The last one we lost to Ross County 2-1 and they scored in the last minute.... We were favourites..

But we are not favourites on Saturday and actually have not one this cup competition since the year 1902. We have been in 14 Scottish cup finals since and have lost every one... 

There is actually urban legend going about. Let me explain, Hibernian (Hibs for short) were formed in 1875 by Irish immigrants who would get abuse from the Edinburgh locals so they created a football club called Hibernian, the Latin name for Ireland is HIBERNIA .. Any ways

The tale goes like this. We used to have an Irish harp on the stadium stand but removed it. A local Irish gypsey said unless you put it back, you will never win the Scottish cup again.... And you know what, I believe it... This year we put our badge on the stand again... That has an Irish harp on it... We also bet a team in the 4th round to reach the final and the last three teams who have previously won against this team (raith rovers) have gone on to reach the final and win the Scottish cup.. Scary no? 

Why should I support Hibernian? Well I am from Edinburgh, I have lived here most of my life... Why would I not? Most people support Rangers or Celtic or an English team.. I have no interest in English football and I am not interested in Celtic or Rangers... I'm happy supporting my local team

Anyway wish us luck for Saturday!  If we win I will get very fucking drunk and celebrate for two weeks straight...

Ps Jamie sent me this in the mail, it's Derek Jones (from falling in reverse) guitar pick and she drew a picture of me haha! As hey Arnold lol

Bye,

Fuckers.

HIBERNIAN!!!!!!

Sunday clean, busy bee, gay title.

Busy bee? Jesus.... Well it's Sunday and that means cleaning day.... Not the fucking day of rest.. Cleaning days I'm in a sunny Dalkeith (I hate the sun) and I'm about to start cleaning, well we actually done some last night, which was good.. 

My parents are going away to Malta for two weeks and guess who is coming to stay with me and Kimmi for two weeks? JAAAAAAACKY!!!

Jacks coming over, I okayed it with my

Landlord and he said it was fine the only problem he would have is if he barked, which he doesn't only when the door goes... But he does have bad bad bad seperstion anixty, he howls like a wolf when I go outside crying for me, sweet but heartbreaking for him, so if my neighbours complain when I go to DBT, fuck you. They play there shite music constantly, which is annoying, and they're moving anyway so who cares.. I

Would let them know but I don't speak polish, seriously they speak shit English and are rude... I could tell you guys some storys....

Anyway I'm looking forward to Jack coming round, it will be nice to be around animals, since our two boys died it's felt so lonely in the house, I hate it. I've always been brought up with pets. I've always been around dogs. 

I need animals in my life. They make me happy, it's not our job to bully a dog or putting off changing the hay for the hamster cage for an extra week or get a cat shit cat food and give them no water, it's our job as humans to look after animals. We need to respect them.

Also I have another driving lesson on Tuesday. I had a dream I stole my dads van last night, and was driving, that was fun...

Anyway I'm away for a shower, see ya.

Fuckers

Dreams

Dreams; what are they? Not the dreams you have when you fall asleep, but the wishes you have for the future, why do we put so much importance of getting to where we want to be in two years time.

My dreams are not over the top in getting there, I don't want to be a millionaire or even have the best job in the world, I don't want to have fast cars or a swimming pool, I don't even want a list of friends that comes from Edinburgh to Melbourne. I don't want to live in a big house with freashly cut grass on a Sunday morning sipping away at my posh coffee while reading a paper and two of my 5 kids ask me for the iPhone 20.

I would tell you what my dreams are, but they might not come true, I just have to keep hoping and wishing I can get them, It's been so long now and time is getting on, people have said walk, move, leave. But abandonment to me is a big deal.

Sometimes I feel like my life is the Truman show, everyone is watching me, at the gym, in the town, on the bus, from outside inside... I feel that well in the past I had to please certain people, I can show respect to certain people, but it's so hard when you feel they don't respect you, that they walk all over you. 

Anyway, have I made a connection with dreams yet? Well yeah, to hold the key of sorrow in your back pocket when the door of hope is ahead is truly madness. Madness makes the assumption of true happiness and happiness is a dream, following the dreams? I wouldn't want to follow my dreams in the sense of being obsessed with it because if you were that obsessed to begin with there would be no need for dreams. Right?

Not a good day.

I don't want to mask or pretend. Today is not a good day. Just "one of those days" I feel sad. But I guess it's okay to feel sad. Life can't be a party. But I do deserve to be happy. I am worthy of happiness. The past is in stone the future Spurs on.

So what now? Really what now? I keep on moving forward. I can move forward and want to move forward. I guess I'm sad because I miss Kimmi, I am lonely without her. I also miss people from my past, a lot. But things are in place for a reason and I must respect their wishes and "watch on" a root for them

I actually feel pleased to see the person I miss doing so well in life, it is comforting to know they have their happy ending and a full life a head, it actually makes me smile. I guess if they were a junkie or a sleep around I would have to say no you know what I'm not going to let you ruin your life, I know we have rules in place but I'm not letting you do this. I guess I'm just too loyal, even if I am a bit sad now and then it's okay, many happy days will come ahead, like seeing Kim on Sunday or holding Mila or my next driving lesson. I can make it through.

You know my problem was I used to and still do to a point say what's on my mind too much. Like If I went to a funeral of someone I hate I would say he or she is an arsehole. Well I would have, I'd post digs at certain people online I used to do that. I found my old Facebook and the way I used to speak and act like I was some kind of a rockstar was crazy, I was just a silly little boy. If you are reading this from my old 'famous' Facebook I am sorry, I'm sorry for being a cunt. But that's the past. Can't change it, can't shake it and can't fuck it, well you can, fuck the past but keep the knowledge. The pain of how you felt. And the happiness.

I feel better now so I will stop writing, have a wonderful weekend 

Fuckers.