Sad.

Kimmi just left, feel so sad and had a lump in my throat walking away from the train. She cried, I was crying as I walked away.... I love you darling.

I took this for you:) 

Song of the week.

I effing love this track. It is so beautiful. The track is called 

Tale of a haunted banker by Christopher young. Go listen 

It's beautiful.

Michael lives on!!

So I heard they are making a new series of prison break! Oh sweet Jesus! I can't wait! Seriously. I love prison break. I remember the last episode I watched Kim was like, "where's Michael, he's dead isn't he? I'm like he's not dead! Shut up you don't know this With tears LOL!!" But yeah I'm a big prison break fan! Really excited for the new series can not wait! Michael is so smart. Linc is so cool and Sarah is amazing! Michael is alive!

Winter days..

Writings- not sure where to write these, I like to creative write. It's really fun to explore the doors and caves of your soul to give something you can look back on. If anyone see's this. Well I'm letting you see a part of me. I guess I'm lucky to express my feelings through my finger tips and hand. The secret? Never use it for financial or attention seeking gain. I only write at the right times. I never put pressure on myself. I don't sell songs. I have wrote a song though for Kimmi's band. Anyway please don't hate these lyrics. I just found them laying around lol

And the winter nights became so clear I held on to my deepest fears. When the winter days became so near I reconstructed the chance in my head. I pushed so hard and I climbed so near. My heart was left with guilt and fear. The reasons I ran away from the night. Was to follow my hope and that star so bright. I'm writing this alone and cold. I'm writing this with so much hope. That everything will come so near. The only thing that I have to fear is losing my head and running from tears. Yes I pushed all away and spoke about me night and day. Yes I pushed so many people down I dependened on oxygen from my ground.

So this ones for the people I hurt, learn the truth and that's a must. I feel the pain of those winter nights so come ahead and judge me on plight. I will take my fears away and I will grow who seems to say. A shine of light will flick away, believe me when I say. I'm truer to my heart and truer to my mind. I've left my demands all behind. My past may react and that could be true. Let's play a game who's behind you? I will take a jab and leave a punch. I will use my cureage to end this rush. Because the way I treated you in the past.......it was a disgrace.... That will hang over and always last.

Thai curry.

Well that was amazing what I had for dinner.

Kimmi made us a Thai curry with coconut rice. And got us ice cream.. Ben and jerries! Was like an angel danced on my tounge while listening to classical music and drowning out cats. Amazing...

Kimmi leaves on Friday. As I have said... It will be hard but yeah I can do two weeks. I have football on Saturday. Last Saturday hibs scored in the last minute to make it 1-1. I have been to around 10 hibs games this season and have NOT seen them lose. People are saying we can win the league. It's exciting... 

Monday I have the dentist. And Tuesday I see Joanne. I still need to send my Christmas cards out. Damn, I can't do early mornings. I suck-___-

Looking to go and travel somewhere with Kim for a holiday, I had some places in mind. I wanna visit a cold country like Poland. I hate being too warm. I'm Scottish I'm used to being cold. I like cold country's. They get me. 

I've been getting a lot of views from Russia. So privet Russians. To everyone feel free to leave a comment. I hate talking about my days really. I'm thinking of writing about all sorts of stuff. Possibly Scottish Gaelic. But hey, cimar à thà thú my Scottish Gaelic is shit. I don't even speak it. I'm learning a few languages at the moment. Not very well. But yeah I probably always say this but I feel something is missing from my life. I can't put my finger on it. Well kinda. I have Kimmi, my family, Jack. Just something.

Anyway I gotta prepare the coffee

Bye

Fuckers

Plot twist the coffee prepares me, KURWA!

That was last Friday by the way. I ain't no alkie who drinks at 5am

Christmas cards

I wrote my Christmas cards out yesterday... Why? Why would I do this? The one thing I hate most? Hand writing skills... They suck to be honest! That's why I hate writing cards. But you know I LOVE getting letters. Even bills ! I just have always loved it since a was a wee laddie. I wrote tae Scott, Nini, fabi, my uncle Richard and his boyfriend Bryan and the horrible polish neighbours downstairs! Oh and my auntie Anne. So oh and Kevin and Pete, well Kimmi did but I signed my name cause they're our mutual friends. They're nice.

Kimmi's away to Ayrshire on Friday... For two weeks. Two weeks of no Kimmi, no Scottish west coast accent to hear... :(

But hey at least il be near my family right?  Still going to suck without the one you love near you... Hmm.. I'm going Christmas shopping on the 21st.

It was princess Mila's first birthday last Saturday. We got her my little pony DVD and shark tale DVD and a puppy dog that teaches baby's numbers, colours and singing. It has three levels. So that was nice. But Kirsty's family was there all day so I didn't have a chance to give it to her. So I am sure I will see her soon..

I renewed my bus pass and am on the waiting list for DBT. They accepted me. So for now I meet up with Joanne every two weeks or so and talk. It's kinda like a preparation dbt session.. Yeah I'm going to be with a group of strangers.... And then the week after I go in for a one to one. So that should be jolly :D.... Not LOL!

I've been to therapy before, I had it in Ayr, that's a story for another time. Look st me spililing out info like a whore in a cowshed.. Well how else was milk discovered. The person was obviously a whore.

Oh may I add I really need a fucking haircut, however I'm not sure what cut to go for. It's bothering me right now. 

Also have you guys checked out still game yet? It's really good! I'm going to post a video soon about it. Does anyone want a tour of Dalkeith? the small village I live in. It had Christmas lights and the relflection comes through the window and shines on my tv (which is off) and it looks like Santa is shitting. 

"Merry Christmas Dalkeith"

By the way. The people here the locals are very defensive. If you say they're from Edinburgh they get angry LOL! Kim was like they sound like they come from Edinburgh. Also they like Edinburgh sport teams, use Edinburgh words. And work in Edinburgh.... But no, not from Edinburgh... Even though they are 2 miles outside of Edinburgh. Yeah, to me you're from Edinburgh Dalkeith. Deal with it. 

Right am going back to bed because busy day tomorrow. Bye bye

Fuckers

Still game.

Lol 

**HEADBUTT**