Can't wait to get an xbox, going to be adding this cunnnnnt:D
Tuesday, 13 December 2011
Sunday, 11 December 2011
Family
Sometimes in life you hear the saying, you can't pick your family, my response, I know!
I just don't understand what has died beneath this roof, is it the fact that i dress different? The fact that i express my feelings through music
or is it the fact i live in a wannbe surburbing area (yes im not good with spelling, get over it!)
All my life i have noticed i have been different in many ways, and all though my family has always came through for me, and i am truly greatful, it sometimes feels that it isn't enough, your brother looking like the world has ended because he bet on a football match and his team didn't win, is in a bad mood with you for no apprent reason
The father who doesn't know how to talk to you, and is too stressed because of work
The mother who you are kinda close to who just ignores you apart from when... let's just say... "happy"
Oh and how can we forget the brother who let's his friends drag your name through the mud and hates you over something you can not help, but still expects you to be their on his wedding day
Truth is, the only family member who has looked out for me, has to be my uncle, he is kind, giving, and he talks to me, sure we have had our ups and downs in the past, words have been said, even actions down, but we have always put that behind us.
If only i could do that with my family, but the truth is, i don't fit in, i really don't so they cut me off, and when i question them about it, they use shallow, little non exsistent, allibis.
This is what made me move to Germany in the first place, people would ask don't you miss your family, my reply, no.
It kinda was the same in Sweden. "i bet your parents are happy to have you back" hahaha, if only...
It's funny how you look at a picture or look at the actions of people, you think, wow, they must have a good life, truth is, they are suffering
I would know...
So what do i do?
I carry on, trying to build a bridge, i can only do what i can only do and if they are not interested, then rest in peace number 42.
thank you for reading
I just don't understand what has died beneath this roof, is it the fact that i dress different? The fact that i express my feelings through music
or is it the fact i live in a wannbe surburbing area (yes im not good with spelling, get over it!)
All my life i have noticed i have been different in many ways, and all though my family has always came through for me, and i am truly greatful, it sometimes feels that it isn't enough, your brother looking like the world has ended because he bet on a football match and his team didn't win, is in a bad mood with you for no apprent reason
The father who doesn't know how to talk to you, and is too stressed because of work
The mother who you are kinda close to who just ignores you apart from when... let's just say... "happy"
Oh and how can we forget the brother who let's his friends drag your name through the mud and hates you over something you can not help, but still expects you to be their on his wedding day
Truth is, the only family member who has looked out for me, has to be my uncle, he is kind, giving, and he talks to me, sure we have had our ups and downs in the past, words have been said, even actions down, but we have always put that behind us.
If only i could do that with my family, but the truth is, i don't fit in, i really don't so they cut me off, and when i question them about it, they use shallow, little non exsistent, allibis.
This is what made me move to Germany in the first place, people would ask don't you miss your family, my reply, no.
It kinda was the same in Sweden. "i bet your parents are happy to have you back" hahaha, if only...
It's funny how you look at a picture or look at the actions of people, you think, wow, they must have a good life, truth is, they are suffering
I would know...
So what do i do?
I carry on, trying to build a bridge, i can only do what i can only do and if they are not interested, then rest in peace number 42.
Trapt
Ever feel like you're going insane? you feel like everything you know around you is going way, way, way too fast and the only way to make it stop is to close your eyes and relax?
But what if you can't? what if you don't know how to relax? I for one have never had the privilege of being able to do so, so what now? what now for me?
I carry on, i keep telling myself it is all in my head, and to be quite honest & fair it is, it has always been this way
and it's time for me to stand up, and face it face to face, and say "i'm not scared of you" I can't run away from it
I dare not to, because i have my happiness on the line, my world and everything that makes me whom i am, I might have not been a saint this year, or the last, or the last
But for everyone out their, who hates my guts (i can name a few) just remember the saying
Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future.
I will over come what has been planted in my head to become that monster, who i have never had the luck of getting rid of,
With determination and strengh, i can only see success in the face.
Who know's maybe i'll cut the throat of this monster and be the person i know i can be.....
Thank you for reading...
But what if you can't? what if you don't know how to relax? I for one have never had the privilege of being able to do so, so what now? what now for me?
I carry on, i keep telling myself it is all in my head, and to be quite honest & fair it is, it has always been this way
and it's time for me to stand up, and face it face to face, and say "i'm not scared of you" I can't run away from it
I dare not to, because i have my happiness on the line, my world and everything that makes me whom i am, I might have not been a saint this year, or the last, or the last
But for everyone out their, who hates my guts (i can name a few) just remember the saying
Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future.
I will over come what has been planted in my head to become that monster, who i have never had the luck of getting rid of,
With determination and strengh, i can only see success in the face.
Who know's maybe i'll cut the throat of this monster and be the person i know i can be.....
Thank you for reading...
Friday, 9 December 2011
Long time no talk
So right now i am speaking to Joanna
It's been a long time since we have skyped, it's fun!
she's in a lot of pain right now, cheer up sweetie !!!!!!!!
i have no idea what else to say
oh yes, i have applied for a well known band, their lead singer left last week, i'm not going to be talking about it much since i don't wanna get my hopes up, but maybe you guys will hear me sing soon
yay!
now to carry on cheering up Joanna!
It's been a long time since we have skyped, it's fun!
she's in a lot of pain right now, cheer up sweetie !!!!!!!!
i have no idea what else to say
oh yes, i have applied for a well known band, their lead singer left last week, i'm not going to be talking about it much since i don't wanna get my hopes up, but maybe you guys will hear me sing soon
yay!
now to carry on cheering up Joanna!
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